Today we have a post from the legend and personal growth ambadassador, Steve Pavlina. Steve’s work has been a huge inspiration for me over the past two years and having spoken to him briefly about our psychedelic experiences on a zoom call earlier this year, I sent him an invite when setting up PSYJuly. I was delighted to receive his reply and welcome to share his lessons on ayahuasca. Over to Steve…

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Last week I was in Costa Rica, engaging in four nights of ayahuasca ceremonies with a group of friends who invited me to share this experience with them. This was the first time I’ve taken ayahuasca. It’s illegal in the USA and most other countries, but it’s legal in Costa Rica.

Taking ayahuasca four nights in a row was physically challenging – nausea, vomiting, dizziness, and more – but I gained many insights from the alternative perspectives it provided. I actually count last week among the most cherished weeks of my life.

I took copious notes day by day to make it easier to remember the play by play of these experiences. I’d like to offer you this summary of the key lessons and insights I gained from this unusual deep dive. See if any of this resonates with you.

Gentleness

Be gentle with yourself and others. Gentleness is more powerful than toughness. When it feels like life is being too rough with you, simply say aloud to life: Please be gentler with me. Life tends to honor such requests. People will usually honor such requests as well. Asking for gentleness isn’t a sign of weakness. If you want life to be gentler with you, just ask.

Beauty

Look for the beauty within each person, knowing that everyone harbors intense beauty inside. People often hide their beauty, but each person’s beauty wants to be seen and acknowledged.

Share Love

Share your love with the world; don’t just share ideas and advice. Be more expressive of caring, kindness, and compassion. Your caring is beautiful. Stop hiding how much you care and what you care about.

Be Consciously Intentional

Reality responds powerfully to intentions. Consciously express your intentions, especially when you cannot envision the causal chain of actions to generate the desired result. Even when the response seems subtle or delayed, intentions always have an effect. Declare your intentions when you get up, while showering, while eating, while in the middle of an email or a conversation, and so on. Keep telling reality again and again what you desire to experience because reality is always listening. When you aren’t expressing intentions, reality assumes you’re intending to experience what you’re already experiencing, instead of something new or different. Don’t worry about being consistent in what you ask for. Just ask frequently – way more frequently than you think is prudent. You’ll receive a lot more of what you want if you ask, ask, ask. Asking 100 times a day isn’t too often.

Grow Towards the Light

Continue to pursue personal growth like a plant, always growing towards the light. Keep asking, Where is the light? Seek to grow in that direction. Keep intending: I’m growing towards the light. Life powerfully supports such intentions.

Artistic Expression

To become a better musician, don’t try to play music. Instead, try to play the beauty of the music. The same goes for other forms of artistic expression. Focus on the beauty of what you’re trying to share or express. Let the beauty play through you.

The Unknown

Growth that comes from exploring the edges of the known is typically incremental, safe, and predictable. To experience deeper and more profound transformations, invite and explore the unknown. There’s more potential – and fewer limits – in the realm of the mysterious. When you turn towards the unknown, more is possible. When you cling to the known, progress will be slower.

Connected Thoughts

No thoughts within our minds are truly compartmentalized. No memories, ideas, beliefs, attitudes, habits, addictions, feelings, hopes, dreams, or desires are sequestered in isolated storage. All neural patterns influence and communicate with each other in a perpetual dance of energy transfer. Consequently, to achieve a sense of wholeness and centeredness within, every repressed, rejected, or resented pattern of thought must eventually be forgiven, healed, and welcomed back into the fold. Even what you consider to be the very worst patterns within your mind are eager to be recognized and acknowledged as beautiful.

Oneness Across Time

Since past memories and future desires are still maintained as neural firing patterns in the present, achieving future improvement requires healing and upgrading your relationship with the past. For instance, an abundant future necessitates an abundant reframing of the past, such as recalling past challenges as lessons received with gratitude and appreciation. Any resentment of the past blocks future progress. Within the mind all neural patterns that represent time-based events (past, present, or future) are maintained in the present, and they all contribute to the same song. There is no mental separation of past, present, and future. Your relationships with events across all time periods all exist in the present. You can always create new intentions for healing and upgrading these relationships. Your relationships with all time periods are always with you, so make those relationships as good as they can be. They can be beautiful.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is way more powerful and transformational than you probably realize, especially forgiving yourself. There’s a deeper part of you (your soul, your spirit, or perhaps your higher self) that’s always ready to put its arm around you; invite you to face together your worst shame, guilt, or regret; and heal it with unconditional love, understanding, and forgiveness. This part of you is always available. It invites you to heal the unhealable and to forgive the unforgivable. Just ask: I invite my soul to help me heal ____.

Head and Heart

The head can never hope to win when the heart disagrees. The head is positioned as a student of the heart, seeking to study and understand it. It’s okay for such a student to be curious and questioning as long as there’s trust. When the head doesn’t trust the heart, the head will eventually generate enough problems to lead it back to the heart, usually out of desperation. When you experience such desperation (or its precursor, frustration), breathe into your heart until you feel centered there. Then ask your heart for guidance, and listen to your heart with your head – this time with more humility.

Being Imperturbable

Imagine being emotionally and energetically imperturbable, such that no events trigger you to feel anything other than what you consciously choose to invite in. How would your energy matrix need to be configured to be capable of accepting any input and still maintaining the integrity of its vibration unfazed? You’d be like pure black paint that can receive and absorb any light without glaring back. Whatever triggers exist that cause you to fall short of this standard are pointers to further growth. The next time you feel triggered, ask yourself what you’d have to release, reframe, forgive, or heal in order to render such a trigger powerless in the face of your imperturbable nature.

Causing Pain

Wherever you cause pain, you narrow the range of frequencies that you can perceive. You cannot hear and enjoy the beautiful song of that which you harm. Wherever you express caring, compassion, or kindness, you open up the frequency range, so the fullness of life’s symphony can be heard. Where do you sense you’re still causing pain or allowing wounds to remain unhealed? That’s where the most beautiful music is playing, but at best all you can perceive is a low hum. Life is playing a symphony of love, abundance, creativity, beauty, joy, and more. If you cannot hear that song each day, turn your attention to healing wherever you’re blocking it, which is wherever you’re causing pain.

Plants and Nature

Plants and nature are always unconditionally accepting of you. No matter what you endure in the world of humans, you can spend time in the presence of a plant or tree, which will always welcome and accept you. You can ask a plant to forgive you, and it will do so. When you invite and welcome the unconditional love of plants, you’ll find it easier to love and accept yourself, and so will other people. Remember that nature always provides you with an accessible floor of love, acceptance, and forgiveness, and this gift is here for you whenever you need it. No tree will ever decline a hug from you. When you cannot bring yourself to express love for anyone or anything, including yourself, you can still express love for a plant, and that’s all it takes to get the energy flowing again. Don’t underestimate how powerful this is.
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This was originally posted on Steve’s website here.

About Steve
Steve Pavlina is an American self-help author, motivational speaker and entrepreneur. He is the author of one of the most successful personal development websites in the world, stevepavlina.com, and the book Personal Development for Smart People.

The post Lessons From Ayahuasca appeared first on Maps of the Mind.

If integration is a new term to you, start here:

Here are the contents, I’ll expand on each point below.

1. Understand What You Are Practicing
2. Manage Expectations
3. Don’t Be The Arbiter Of Truth
4. Don’t Assume (You’ve Had The Same Experience)
5. Seek Continued Development

Credits

Before beginning, I’d like to acknowledge that this piece is pulled from my notes from workshops, webinars and presentations on the topic. Primarily, from an excellent webinar on integration hosted by MAPS last summer which featured two people I consider leaders in the field: Marc Aixalà, and Ingmar Gorman. Some is also taken from a workshop with Ingmar at Insight Conference in Berlin last year. You can find out more about them at the bottom of this post.

Alright, let’s get into it!

1. Understand What You Are Practicing

Integration is a broad term and will look very different depending on a person’s needs. One factor in determining a person’s needs is when you see them in relation to their psychedelic experience.

In this scale from Ingmar, we see that there is the post acute psychedelic effect on the left end, and long term psychotherapy on the right.

The post acute psychedelic effect on the far left would be the hours and days directly following an experience, sometimes known as the ‘afterglow’ period, where as on the far right it would be a long term and ongoing therapeutic relationship. 

Working on a psychedelic retreat where you are with people directly after their experience, for example, will be on the far left of the scale. If you are conducting a follow up call two weeks later, you will be closer to the middle. If you are working with someone in an ongoing process over many months and years, you will be on the right side. 

Another factor to consider is how a person is doing following the experience: did it bring difficulties or benefits?

On this scale from Marc, we see the different ideas of what could constitute integration, from dealing with undesired effects (e.g. emergence of repressed traumatic memories) to maximising benefits (e.g. greater sense of peace, connectedness, more mental clarity).

Working on the left end of the scale requires more specialisation and looks more like a clinical practice, whereas further to the right could look more like coaching.

Knowing where you are practicing on these scales should inform your approach and help you to know what you are capable of doing. For example, for a therapist, empathy alone is not sufficient; a capacity to recognise what is happening with transference and countertransference and how to respond to that, is also necessary.

Although they can be combined, integration and psychotherapy could be very different processes, so be clear about which you are doing. Acknowledge your level of expertise and limitations, and be ready to refer when helping someone effectively is outside of your scope.

2. Manage Expectations

Psychedelics are getting hyped. Retreats are the new trend. Trips are the latest ‘cure all’. Stories of seemingly overnight change in the media are backed by incredible results from clinical studies.

A desire for fast change is fed by our cultural leanings to quick fixes and instant gratification and the idea of a ‘magic bullet’ is very appealing and draws many people to psychedelics.

Coming back to reality after a ceremony or retreat, and the realistic pace of change, can bring a surprising realisation that there is continued work to be done. 

The non-linear rate of improvement after an experience can fall short of people’s expectations, and this can lead to disappointment and frustration.

Falling back into old ways, as often happens on a path of growth, can also bring a sense of failure.

Handling these challenges can be handled well by managing expectations and bringing them to a realistic level.

Of course, hope is an important factor in the process.

So how does one manage expectations whilst maintaining a sense of hope?

It is very useful to first try to understand, what is their expectation of the outcome?

If expectations are high, then balance bringing them to a more realistic level with keeping a sense of optimism and hope.

10 Years of Therapy Insight

It’s often heard that psychedelic sessions are ‘like 10 years of therapy’ or ’10 years of transformation’. Sat next to me at Ingmar’s workshop in Berlin, Marlene Rupp of the excellent Sapiensoup put it perfectly in more real terms: ’10 years of insight’.

See Marlene’s talk at Beyond Psychedelics here:
How To Start A Psychedelic Integration Circle

Insight isn’t worth much until it is realised and actualised in the world; when it is integrated. There is a big difference between understanding a profound truth and embodying it. We could all read a quote from a text or book, but getting to the place of living in accordance with that wisdom is something else. This takes time and effort, something useful to recall in managing expectations.

A useful way of putting it that Marc shared is:

“You will have an experience.
That experience can be very useful, if you do something with it.”

3. Don’t Be The Arbiter Of Truth

It can be the case that a repressed or traumatic memory is recovered during a psychedelic session. For example, abuse from a family member.

In this scenario, the person who has experienced or re-experienced the memory may ask you if it is true, if it really happened.

Even if they don’t say it in words, they may in one way or another be fishing for a confirmation on the validity of their memory.

When it comes to recovered memories, the advice is simple: if you are in any way asked about their validity, do not confirm one way or the other.

The only correct answer you can give is ‘I don’t know’. A false confirmation one way or the other can have seriously negative consequences.

Worth mentioning here is Elizabeth Loftus and her groundbreaking work on false memories, including recovered memories of childhood sexual abuse – very interesting stuff for those inclined.

In general, be very careful when interpreting others’ experiences. This leads us nicely on to…

4. Don’t Assume (You’ve Had The Same Experience)

Someone comes to you who has recently had deep and powerful mushroom trip. Perfect, you’ve had many deep and powerful mushroom trips so you know exactly what they’re going through.

Not so fast.

Just because you’ve consumed the same substance as someone else, be it ayahuasca, truffles, acid or any other, it doesn’t mean that you’ve had the same experience. It doesn’t mean they were even remotely similar.

No matter how many similarities there may be, you can’t assume you’ve had the same experience. The width and variety of psychedelic (and life) experience should never be underestimated.

That Don Miguel was on to something

Now of course, there can be similarities (and if so, great, because then your experience and learnings will be more easily translated to the other person). But if there are, then try to uncover them with non-directive questioning and patient listening, rather than assuming them from the start and then reaching them skewed by confirmation bias.

When it comes to asking questions, I personally try to take the approach of a non-judgemental exploration characterised by curiosity – seeing the interaction as a means to explore the person’s inner world alongside them. Rather than knowing and leading, trying to go deeper and uncover more.

As an integration coach, it isn’t necessary to share your own personal psychedelic experiences. After all, this isn’t about you. What is more important is that you let them know that you understand the challenges they are facing.

Be A Good Listener

On this point I think it’s useful to emphasize the importance of being a good listener. 

“There are three things you can do to help someone. The first is to listen. The second is to listen. The third is to listen some more.”

When you find yourself talking, WAIT.
That is, remember the acronym:
W. A. I. T.
Why Am I Talking?

From Ingmar’s workshop at Insight Conference 2019

5. Seek Continued Development

Continued and sustained effort is fundamental to becoming great at anything. As Goenka would say; diligence, patience, and persistence.

As I’ve mentioned before, I believe the best way to learn comes from a combination of both study and practice, so read plenty, and seek practice where you can.

However, this final point is a tricky one. As psychedelic integration is a nascent field, there aren’t really any obvious ways to go about further development. By contrast, if you want to become a psychotherapist, for example, there are some pretty clear roadmaps to do so. How to become an integration provider on the other hand, isn’t so clear.

Globally, our only long standing traditions around using psychedelics have survived through indigenous cultures – e.g. Native American Indians, Amazonian tribes – where practice has never been totally discontinued and knowledge around practices has been passed down through ancestral lineage.

Because of the preservation of practices in those cultures, experiences are naturally integrated in to their communities. For this reason, they don’t really have models for integration that are applicable to us in the West. Here, psychedelics have only recently begun to emerge as a tool for awareness, growth and therapeutic application, and as such are not integrated in our society.

Though we currently lack these systems, they are on the way. In the meantime, seek education and practice where you can; go to workshops, start a circle, learn in related areas e.g. breathwork, mindfulness, support group and community building. Marc gave a couple hints: become a good listener, and become a good therapist in whatever school you’re comfortable in.

You can find some useful and related resources in this post:

If you have any further tips, resources, or ideas, feel free to get in contact.

Thanks for reading and have a great day.

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Resources & Credit:

As promised above, here is more information on Marc and Ingmar. I’ve been lucky enough to attend in person workshops with both, a tripsitting workshop in 2017 by Marc in Copenhagen and an integration one with Ingmar last year in my home city of Berlin. They both have a lot of experience in the field and I’d recommend both as good sources of information. 

Marc Aixalà is an engineer, psychologist, psychotherapist and certified Holotropic Breathwork facilitator, specialized in supporting people who face challenging situations after experiencing non-ordinary states of consciousness. He coordinates support and integration services at ICEERS. You can find out more about ICEERS here.

Ingmar Gorman is a psychologist who specializes in assisting populations who have had experiences with psychedelics and other psychoactive compounds. He is director of the Psychedelic Education and Continuing Care Program, and co-founder of Fluence.

The post Best Practices for Psychedelic Integration Providers appeared first on Maps of the Mind.

So, in the presence of one of the most influential figures in the psychedelic world, what question did I ask?

Well, Dennis said it was a good question (yeah!) and didn’t disappoint with his answer.

You can hear my question and Dennis’ answer in the video below.

Video credit: Kate Kifa.

Thanks to ICEERS for organising such a great conference and granting me access to the media room.

P.S.
If you are looking for a great psychedelic book, check out The Brotherhood Of The Screaming Abyss. Absolutely one of my favourite psychedelic books, it is Dennis’ account of an incredible story.

He honestly shares mistakes he’s made on his journey and tells tales with refreshing humour. It includes great chapters on Eliade and Jung, and is notably interesting in its documentation of how the psychedelic movement has developed in the West since the 60s.
Go, read!

The post On Developing The Psychedelic Movement – Dennis McKenna appeared first on Maps of the Mind.

Redecorated hospital room used in LSD studies at Imperial College London.

Rob has been collecting these photos over the last few years and I find the series provides great insight in to the relationship humanity has with drugs and altered states of consciousness. Drug use is as old as civilisation itself and this series explores the topic widely, offering a broad perspective of what can be considered ‘drug use’. Rausch also gives us an opportunity to visually visit some striking and surprising, lesser known settings.

I first met Robert online, and through an unwinding course of events, we are now flatmates and good friends. It brings me great pleasure to be able to present his work here on Maps Of The Mind.

In this post I present a just a few of my favourites. You can find the full collection on his website.

Enjoy the exploration.

Santo Daime church ceremony in Germany’s Harz region. The sacrament of this syncretic religious community is Ayahuasca, a brew made out of psychoactive rainforest plants. The potion is used during fixed rituals for divine experiences, to heal and to strengthen the community.​​​​​​​

Goa-Festivals, like the OZORA in Hungary, are comparable to huge trance-rituals. Music and decoration imitate the neurologic effects of LSD. After hours of dancing to monotonous rhythm in combination with psychedelic substances, people get into a trance-like state.

Another of the redecorated hospital room used in LSD studies at Imperial College London. This is where for the first time computer tomography scans were used to record brain activity while under the influence of LSD, and the impacts of music on therapy were investigated.​​​​​​​

In Poland a group meet with the intention of using psychoactive substances therapeutically. Under the supervision of therapists, doctors and experienced attendants, they take Mescaline, MDMA and 2-CB on two consecutive evenings.​​​​​​​

The active compound psilocybin, which occurs naturally in psychedelic mushrooms, is being researched at Maastricht University. Brain scans and cognitive tests are used to find out whether this substance can boost creativity and help change learned behavior patterns.​​​​​​​

You can see the rest of the collection here and more of Robert’s work at robertfunke.com
You can also find him on instagram.

The post Rausch: A Photo Series on Psychoactive Drugs in Society appeared first on Maps of the Mind.

On a recent mild weekend in Denmark I went to a psychedelic conference in the country’s coastal capital. Held in a sleek and modern building on the city’s metropolitan university campus, it turned out to be a hugely impressive event. Something that struck me early on was how well organised everything was – I guess a part of me was expecting stoned hippies in tie-dye shirts to be running the thing. Though I’m sure that would’ve been fun in its own way, that was absolutely not the case. It was an excellently organised and professional event put on by the psychedelic society of Denmark: clearly a smart and competent group of individuals that understand the value of these stigmatized substances.

The atmosphere around the building and in the main hall was of an almost tangible positivity and you could tell everyone was excited to be there. It was awesome to connect with others who share an interest in psychedelics and being around so many like-minded people made me feel that I’m part of something much bigger. A pretty good feeling.

There were workshops on tripsitting and integration on the Friday and the main conference was held over the weekend with two full days of presentations on subjects ranging from neuroscience to psychotherapy to social ecology.

Serious Work Is Being Done

There was a moment I enjoyed on the second morning when an older lady asked me if I was a scientist. I smiled and said “well, I do conduct experiments.” It turns out I’m not the only one. There are like, actual scientists doing (slightly more rigorous) experiments and clinical trials with these substances and writing papers and PHDs on them. And there are a lot of them.

Pharmacologist Jordi Riba

Nearly all of the presentations were done by scientists and researchers from  a diverse range of fields and while the research into how psychedelics can be used to treat mental illness is currently getting the most attention, there is plenty more going on. I enjoyed one talk about how the type of hallucinogen present in a culture might influence its prevailing religious beliefs – especially thought-provoking when we consider today’s most popular drugs. There was another interesting one in which pharmacologist Jordi Riba presented his findings that suggest the alkaloids of the plant source of ayahuasca stimulate adult neurogenesis. I should mention that he did also note that aerobic exercise also does this, so if you fancy growing your brain and aren’t quite up for a massive psychedelic trip in the jungle, you can just go for a run. Slightly less intimidating.

Science Is Leading The Movement

Today science is a door to credibility. Open any statement with ‘well, studies have shown that…’ and you’re guaranteed to have your point considered more seriously. As psychedelics gain more attention its clear that many leaders within the movement know this. They don’t want to see mistakes made in the 60’s made again and are very conscious of public perception. Hence the amount of scientists and academics giving presentations. In a panel debate at the end of the first day, neuroscientist Robin Carhart-Harris used the word ‘hippies’ more than once and its clear that he doesn’t want to be labelled one. He wants the respect that comes with science and he’s not alone in wanting that respect to be extended to psychedelics.

Robin Carhart-Harris

I do think there should be room for non-science based discussion too though. On looking through the program ahead of the first day I saw a presentation with an intriguing title – ‘Psychedelic Pleasures: An effective understanding of the joys of tripping’. I read it to my friend and he smiled. “That’s more like it. All this science can miss the point.” The talk turned out to be steeped in science and methodology and disappointingly, not very fun at all.

Whilst all the scientific research is important to the wider perception of psychedelics, I think it’s important to remember that technical understanding has its limits. Sure, science has granted us incredible advancements in medicine and technology, but alone it doesn’t have all the answers. Technology has isolated people, globalisation has fragmented communities, and if we look at where all this technical, rational understanding has landed us today we see a world with increasing rates of mental illness in the midst of an ecological crisis. I think we can go a little too heavy on the science at times and there should be room for other types of understanding too.

Small Event In A Big Year

2017 has been a big year for the psychedelic movement with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration designating MDMA as a breakthrough therapy for PTSD in August, and much larger conferences like Psychedelic Science, Breaking Convention, and The International Transpersonal Conference taking place in California, London and Prague. Whilst the gathering in Copenhagen was a modest affair compared to those events, it still gave me a sense of how big the movement is and how fast its growing.

I appreciated the relatively small size as it meant that I had the opportunity to talk with some of those presenting. It was interesting to hear neuroscientist Mendel Kaelen (who you may be familiar with from this VICE article) talk about how he considers ‘hope’ to be a crucial aspect of music in a session, and speaking to Jordi Riba, I found out why I can drink cup after cup of ayahuasca without any real effect (turns out I’m not a beast of resistance, it’s more likely that my body just metabolizes certain enzymes very quickly). Whilst it’s possible to find out almost anything online, nothing replaces those in person connections.

Overall the conference was equal parts enjoyable and eye-opening and the cornerstone of an inspiring week in Copenhagen. I think I might make this an annual trip. See you at the next one.

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If you enjoyed this you might also wanna check out:
7 Remarkable Things I Learned At Psychedelic Science 2017 – by Aaron at Freedom & Fulfilment

The post Psykedelisk Symposium: A Psychedelic Conference in Copenhagen appeared first on Maps of the Mind.

•  Disclaimer: There are, of course, risks to taking any kind of drug. This piece focuses on the positive effects of psychedelics. Do your own research please.

1. Appreciate Life More

Pretty good reason, right? Following a strong psychedelic experience users may feel a renewed appreciation and lust for life. As with any serious journey or intense experience, a psychedelic experience can change one’s perspective, help to bring a certain level of gratitude and joy to life, and to appreciate the little things. In studies at John Hopkins University with psilocybin, the active ingredient in magic mushrooms, 83% of participants reported increases in well-being or life satisfaction. As well, studies at Imperial College London have found that taking LSD leads to increased optimism and openness.

2. Increase Creativity

The Beatles, Aldous Huxley, Steve Jobs… what do they all have in common? They were all hugely influential creatives who credited psychedelic use with changing how they saw the world.

“It [LSD] opened my eyes. We only use one-tenth of our brain. Just think of what we could accomplish if we could only tap that hidden part!”
Paul McCartney

The link between psychedelics, music and art is fairly well documented in culture but their creative potential goes beyond that. Psychedelics can be used as tools for thinking and the recent growth in the number of people micro-dosing for creative and productive reasons is a testament to that. Revelations and new ideas are commonly experienced and users are able to take some of these insights back with them, applying them to problems in their life as well as creative and even scientific endeavours.

“The billionaires I know, almost without exception, use hallucinogens on a regular basis. [They’re] trying to be very disruptive and look at the problems in the world … and ask completely new questions.”
Tim Ferris

A problem-solving experiment conducted with 27 professionals from a variety of fields – engineers, engineer-physicists, mathematicians, architects, psychologists, among others- found that psychedelics aided them in finding creative solutions to professional problems they had been struggling with for months. Participants reported enhanced functioning in the following ways; capacity to restructure problem in larger context, enhanced fluency and flexibility of ideation, heightened capacity for visual imagery and fantasy, increased ability to concentrate, heightened motivation to obtain closure, and visualizing the completed solution.

“What if I had not taken LSD ever; would I have still invented PCR? I don’t know. I doubt it. I seriously doubt it.”
Biochemist Kary Mullis, on his nobel-prize

3. Awesome Experience

Seeking adventure? Exploration doesn’t have to be external, you can go on an awesome journey internally with psychedelics – there’s a reason it’s called ‘tripping’. The feelings, challenges and experience you might expect from an external adventure – wonder, awe, excitement, overcoming adversity, learning through experience – are all there and present in a psychedelic experience too. If you don’t have the time or money for a trek through the rainforest or a Himalayan expedition, you might consider taking an inner journey on the weekend.

‘Magic’ mushrooms contain the psychedelic compound psilocybin

“If [my daughter] does not try a psychedelic like psilocybin or LSD at least once in her adult life, I will worry that she may have missed one of the most important rites of passage a human being can experience.”
Sam Harris

4. Experience Something Deeper

There is a reason why psychedelics have been used in religious and spiritual rites for thousands of years. Whether it’s ayahuasca in the Amazon, peyote in the North American desert, or Iboga in Central Africa, psychedelic substances are used by humans to alter consciousness in a way that allows them to experience something transcendent or divine. It’s the same reason why spiritual seekers are drawn to these substances today… they are capable of producing mystical or ‘religious’ experiences.

Peyote cactus, containing the psychoactive alkaloid mescaline

Can they really facilitate genuinely religious experiences? Science tells us yes.

In 1962, a double blind experiment in Boston found that almost all participants who received psilocybin reported a profound religious experience. In a 25-year follow-up to the experiment, all of the subjects given psilocybin described their experience as having elements of “a genuine mystical nature and characterized it as one of the high points of their spiritual life”.

The study was duplicated in 2002 at John Hopkins University, under more rigourous controls, and after a 14-month follow up over half of the participants rated the experience among the top five most meaningful spiritual experiences in their lives.

5. Your Sanity

Fewer mental health problems? Bet you didn’t expect to see that on the list. Well according to a recent study, people who use psychedelic drugs show fewer mental health problems. Though this might seem counter-intuitive at first it begins to make sense when one considers psychedelics’ ability to improve mindfulness – a tool which can provide a flexible set of skills to manage mental health and support well-being. Psychedelics are now being used to treat anxiety and depression, with early results very promising.

“Psilocybin does in 30 seconds what antidepressants take three to four weeks to do”
David Nutt, professor of neuropsychopharmacology at Imperial College London

6. Quit Addiction

Did you know that the founder of Alchoholics Anonymous wanted a dose of LSD to be the first step of the program? He stopped pursuing this line when it began to upset other members of AA but he was on to something. Psychedelics are now being used to treat all kinds of addictions with incredible success stories. Ibogaine, a psychedelic from Africa, seems to be the go-to for matters of heroin and opiate addiction, with ayahuasca also used to treat heroin, cocaine and alcohol addictions. Psilocybin and LSD are also now being used to treat addictions to tobacco and alcohol, whilst micro-dosing is helping to wean people off addictive anti-depressants like adderall and ritalin. It seems that whatever the addiction, there’s a psychedelic to help.

In Closing

I feel it’s a shame that so many people don’t ever get the chance to experience the wonder of psychedelics because they are worried they will go crazy, lose their minds or jump off a roof thinking they could fly. But I could hardly blame you if this was your only idea of what psychedelics offer because of the way drugs and in particular psychedelics have been portrayed in our culture, media and schools. We are taught things like ‘just say no’ without any critical thought; pure non-thinking conformity. We aren’t properly educated about them or encouraged to actively engage in the decision with our own critical and cognitive faculties. This is why the underlying assumption of a large chunk of society is that (illegal) drugs are bad and have nothing positive to offer you.

But now the science is coming through from all sides and telling us that this school of substances have much to offer us and an increasing number of people are learning of their incredible potential. With a little research you will find that people all over the world, for thousands of years, have been using psychedelic substances as tools for change, education, growth and inspiration, and are continuing to do so today. There continues to be a growing number of people taking back the reins to their own consciousness and using these tools for growth and empowerment in what seems to be a psychedelic renaissance. Will you be part of it?

The post 6 Reasons Why You Might Take Psychedelic Drugs appeared first on Maps of the Mind.

Part 3

Bolivian Amazon -home for the week

Camp life

The day after the 1st ceremony I had a classic post-trip day feeling: a lethargic slumber but mentally light and with a bright outlook. I reflected on my visions from the night before, if they had any meaning it was about the impermanence of thoughts and how they create our reality. Something was lacking though; I only reflected on this theoretically and without the feeling where you truly realise something and know it in your bones.

At the kitchen the French couple Mabelle and Jean were saying their goodbyes. Jean was leaving that day, he had to drive a van back to Chile to sell. Mabelle was different again, she was floating and smiley, she seemed to have processed some of what had passed in the last ceremony. She’d decided to stay at the camp to do one more ceremony, she felt she had something unfinished and incomplete with ayahuasaca and felt that staying for her 3rd ceremony would be for the best. She hadn’t been apart from Jean in 10 months but they didn’t seem to have any doubts about their decision. Jean wished us ‘buenas ceremonias’ and left for Chile. I smoked a fat joint with Augustino after breakfast and headed out to the river.

River chilling

It was decided that our last two ceremonies would be on consecutive nights, my last two nights staying in the jungle. This meant the next 3 days and 2 nights would be free to settle in to life in the jungle and relax. I passed time reading and meditating and went with Sophie out to the river everyday to cool down from the baking sun and escape the bugs. We went out for walks in the surrounding rainforest and really started to bond as we got to know each other more deeply.

During these days I shared many conversations with Augustino and learnt more about the people and the project there, and got a sense of their life in the rainforest. Augustino, now in his thirties, was from Ushuaia, a resort town in Patagonia on the southernmost tip of South America; ‘the bottom of the world’. He’d left home in his late teens, travelling South America working as an artisan, as many do, making crafts to sell on the street and juggling at traffic lights for money. He’d met Maria on the Isla Del Sol, a beautiful place on Lake Titicaca popular with hippies and artisans. He’d first took Ayahuasca with Guillermo years before, and later Guillermo took him on to work at the site. Later, he had invited his nephew Carlos who’d also followed the same artisan/juggler route, to come and work at the site too.

Inside the temple, a palapa

I also learnt of their process of making ayahuasca, how they go on an ‘excursion’ of a couple of days up to the nearby mountain to bring the necessary plants back to create the brew of ayahuasca, and how after they spend days grinding the vine, boiling it and making the brew, all the while drinking ayahuasca and singing tributary ayahuasca songs day and night. Just your typical working routine then.

Where the ayahuasca is made

Boiling spot for aya

Preparation process

The Shaman’s Story

Augustino also told me of the years of training that Guillermo had done to become a shaman, drinking ayahuasca almost daily and learning from the elders. Guillermo had started his psychedelic journey at the extreme end – with Datura, AKA Jimson weed, at the age of 14 (seriously), before going on to take and learn about San Pedro, temazcal ceremonies, and ayahuasca. He had an instant affinity for ayahuasca and drank it many times eventually joining the Santiago de Chile branch of the Santo Daime church. There he received ayahuasca and teachings from the fathers of the church and began to start conducting ceremonies himself. Amongst other traditional medicines he went on to learn about kambo, the frog poison cleanse, before receiving a message from ayahuasca to go to Bolivia. He and his family sold all their things, came to Bolivia, bought land, set up the project, and a few months later, I was there.

The shaman, Guillermo, playing icaros in the temple

Final ceremonies

Ahead of the final ceremonies Augustino offered us some more advice. Intentions should never be something material – ‘to get a better car’, but always something relating to the spirit – ‘to be a better person’, ‘to be healed’. One should stay with their intention in mind during the ceremony, and not lie down too soon in order to stave off feelings of sleepiness and drowsiness. At the next ceremony there would be an offering of rapé (snuff tobacco shot up the nostrils for cleansing), and apparently this would aid us in staying alert and awake. Going in to the 2nd ceremony I had a strong determination to stay focused on my intention and relaxed. On the day, after a light early brunch, we drank chicha de yucca- yucca smashed into a juice-like pulp, with Augustino advising that it would help with the body’s processing of the ayahuasca.

The altar w/ bottled ayahuasca

The 2nd ceremony – 4 Cups and a Side of Rapé

Aswell as the resident trio, this time all three of them in white shirts for the ceremony, Mabelle, Maria, and Guillermo’s wife were present. As we arrived to the temple that evening there was also a new face by the fire, a young Frenchman who would be beside me for the ceremony. He drank before me each round and quite clearly had trouble doing so, taking a good minute to finish the cup, raising his arm to cover his mouth as he gagged between every gulp. Typical French hamming it up.

The ceremony followed the same rhythm – opening prayers, icaros, bell, drinking in silence, vomiting, icaros, bell, drinking and so on. Guillermo’s wife joined in with many of the icaros, her voice soothing and beautiful. This time I sat up straight in meditation posture with my eyes closed for nearly all of the ceremony and continually returned to my intention, using it like a mantra. There was no meditation this time round but the rapé after the 2nd cup.

The Rapé

After the round of ayahuasca Guillermo walked over to a knee height cross, faintly illuminated by a small candle at its base, just outside the temple. He explained that anyone was free to come and take the rapé, a mix of pulverised tobacco and other plants shot into one’s nostrils for mental and physical cleansing. A sacred shamanic medicine that’s been used by healers of the Amazon basin for thousands of years, I’d wanted to try rapé for a while and after a couple of the others I made my way over to the cross.

Using a thin wooden pipe with a bend in the middle, Guillermo loaded the tobacco mix into one end, pointed the other end to my right nostril, placed the pipe to his lips and gave a short sharp blast of air. The mix shot up to somewhere behind my eyes and landed with an explosion of ridiculously intense stinging. I reeled back instantaneously, shaking my head in an instinctive attempt to somehow lessen the burning sensation permeating the area below my frontal lobe. After spitting and managing to open my eyes again through the subsiding pain I stepped back to receive the rapé in my left nostril. The burning was reignited and spread further than the first. As I paced around I spat and blew my nose. My sinuses felt clearer and Augustino was right; I was wide awake.

After myself the Frenchman went up for his rapé. Augustino administered his and, true to form, the Frenchman gave a show. After receiving his first shot he jerked about feverishly as if he were being tortured, continually shifting his head to face a new direction as if he would find the magic spot which would relieve him from his agony. His hands and arms followed the jerky dance as Augustino called him back for the second nostril, but he was oblivious to the calls. After repeated calls and as the agitations died down, Augustino was able to get him back for the second nostril; the bizarre dance received a new lease of life and he was off again, I couldn’t help but be amused.

After the rapé the icaros started up again and the ceremony continued as per usual. Again, my experience throughout was one of normal waking consciousness accompanied by feelings of wooziness. Nothing notable passed, with the exception of one occurrence.

Déjà vu

Somewhere between the 3rd and 4th cup, whilst laying back I experienced a strong and clear déjà vu. I had experienced that moment before; by the fire, the icaros sounding out, in the jungle, on that night. Normally with deja vu there is the sense that we’ve absolutely experienced it before but we’re not sure when. This was different in that I remembered exactly when I’d experienced it before. I had experienced that moment before in a dream, two years prior, on a 10-day silent meditation course. During the course I’d had the most vivid and intense dreams of my life, extremely clear and emotionally heavy, many of which I still remember to this day.

Whether this was a some trick of the mind or there was something more mystical at work -some kind of premonition piercing linear time- I know that the feeling was real. I knew that was where I had experienced it before. The déjà vu moment lasted a few seconds, was followed by my realisation of where I had experienced it before, and then passed. My experience continued as before until the closing of the ceremony; hazy, woozy and unclear.

Post-ceremony

As the ceremony ended and the silence was broken the Frenchman turned his head to me, ‘good travel’ he smiled. I stood up and as everyone exchanged hugs and well wishes, Augustino came over to me.

‘La chicha uh?!’ he said pointing to me with a massive grin on his face, expecting me to report on a wondrous journey and credit the chicha de yuca I’d drank in preparation. I reluctantly smiled, I so wanted to be able to share in that, to give the response he was expecting: to crack a huge smile and reply ‘the motherfucking chicha!’ – but I couldn’t, nothing had happened.

‘Mañana, mañana’ he reassured me. There was still the last ceremony to come and apparently the medicine worked more strongly on a second consecutive night.
I looked over and saw the faces of Sophie and the French boy flickering orange from the fire. They were sat together talking and I could tell by their expressions and the tone of their voices that they were speaking of something magical, something hitherto unseen – they were sharing their experiences. Mabelle was still and smiling as she stood gazing into the fire, she looked as though she had seen something so beautiful she wanted to cry.

I knew that something special was happening there. Again I could sense the magic, it was present in the people all around me and it filled the fibres of the jungle air, yet it remained out of my reach. I understood and accepted; you can choose to take ayahuasca, but it also has to choose you. You can make the decision to drink it, travel to far flung lands and take cup after cup in the jungle, but you’re not necessarily going to experience anything. I’d heard that ayahuasca will give you what you need rather than what you want, and perhaps this was true in my case but I doubted it; I didn’t feel like I’d got either.

5 Final Cups – Last Ceremony, Last Chance?

The next night, for the 3rd and final ceremony, I had no expectations. I went to the temple totally relaxed and calm that night. It was the same story – varying levels of wooziness within a pervading normal waking state of consciousness. Instead of meditating or keeping an intention in mind I passed the ceremony admiring the rite: the quirkiness of the rituals, the tones of the icaros and the ambience of the night around the fire. And that was it, the last ceremony.

Where Next?

As the ceremony closed I reflected on my week in the jungle. The setting, the ceremonies, our shaman, the people there; all were as good as I could’ve hoped for. The ceremonies were beautiful and I could see how everyone involved in the project there deeply cared about their work and their mission. I felt grateful for the opportunity to take ayahuasca in a safe and beautiful setting with support from everyone there. But, I was still short of what I really came for; something otherworldly, induced deep psychological introspection, perhaps illumination. Drinking ayahuasca in the amazon was the decisive reason why I came to South America and I’d hoped would be a massive revelation of my trip. After all, it felt incomplete. It’d now been 5 times that I’d drunk ayahuasca, and despite my unwavering sobriety I could see that it was having serious effects on the others who drank with me. I’d drank 14 cups in the last week and still had barely broken out of normal consciousness nor had an ayahuasca experience. I felt at a cross roads.

Do I accept that ayahuasca may never give me what I’m looking for, move on with my life and leave it behind? Or defy the messages that nothing’s coming, and keep searching?

The answer was simple: I accept it and the search continues. I accepted that the week in the rainforest wasn’t what I was looking for. I accepted that I’d had no grand experience and undergone no serious change. I was in total acceptance of all my unsatisfied expectations and felt at peace. I accepted it all but I knew in my heart that the search wasn’t over. The mystery of ayahuasca and my curiosity about the brew had only been heightened and I would be back to traverse these terrains another day. I was at peace and ready to leave this chapter open for the time being. I came to the jungle, partook in the ceremonies, witnessed the beauty of the age old ritual around the fire and felt the magic in the place and people – and that was enough, for now. The final chapter on ayahuasca awaits – maybe I’ll find out that ayahuasca just doesn’t work with me physiologically, or perhaps this is just my story, that my aya path is to be a long and winding one with an epic finish. Time will tell, the journey goes on.

The road out

Time To Move On

I woke up the next day excited to continue my travels, a week ahead I needed to be in Peru to meet a friend before heading on up to Mexico. I’d already decided that I’d head south from Mexico and venture through Central America before returning to South America and once again the amazon where the mystery of aya will still be waiting.

The village passed through leaving the jungle

I left in the afternoon with Sophie, we were going to end our time together on the Isla Del Sol on Lake Titicaca, ‘the most beautiful place in Bolivia’ according to Augustino. Now that sounded like a good place for a trip…

–

If you would like to learn more about Guillermo and his project and go on retreat there, visit the website Casa Buen Retiro

The post Elusive Ayahuasca: 14 Cups in Bolivia pt.3 appeared first on Maps of the Mind.

Temple by day

Elusive Ayahuasca: Part 2

The 1st Ceremony

After Gulliermo’s call I pulled on some clothes, gave Sophie a hug, wished her the best for the ceremony and, more to reassure myself, told her that everything will be OK. It would just be the two of us with the three residents for the ceremony that night. As I was approaching the temple I could see the others inside, the fire in the centre was already burning and sufficient firewood for the evening stacked beside. As I arrived, Guillermo, now dressed all in white for the ceremony, was waking Carlos up by means of prodding him. Carlos was still tired from the ceremony and ‘after-party’ the night before. Guillermo told us where we’d each be for the ceremony and I went over to put my things (head light, sleeping bag, bog paper and water) down.

Guillermo carried a shovel with incense and some herbs burning on it around the temple; I believe this is a rite to protect from malevolent spirits. As I went for a nervous pee Guillermo and Carlos tuned their guitars, and shortly after at around 1:30am with us all around the fire, Guillermo announced ‘vamos a comenzar’ – we’re going to start. He gave us some guidelines – no talking during the ceremony, go outside the temple to throw up, anywhere outside in nature is fine – and also try not to throw up on yourself (the thought drew a childish smile from myself), you are free to leave the temple for periods but always try to return, and try to drink all the cups which are offered – if you don’t want more then tell him and he will only pour you out a small symbolic cup.

The ceremony started and it was pretty ceremonial. It was indeed a service; it reminded me of church. With Santo Daime being Brasilian in origin, the service was conducted in Portugese. We stood around the fire and the Lord’s prayer was spoken in unison by Guillermo, Augustino and Carlos. This shouldn’t have been surprising considering I knew our shaman apprenticed in the Santo Daime tradition (a syncretic religion which amongst various other spiritual and religious traditions such as African animism and traditional South American shamanism, draws influence from Folk Catholicism), but it did feel solemn, a far cry from my first, and majority of, psychedelic experiences – taken with some friends in a private apartment with music pumping, surrounded by novelties with which to amuse ourselves and a choice of other drugs on hand to select from throughout the trip at our leisure. But there, in a rustic temple around a campfire in the Amazon rainforest, no talking permitted; quite different.

Taking a cup from the altar, a table with a Wiphala pattern tablecloth, a cross in the centre and adorned with various precious stones, a couple of black and white photos of old men (whom I assume are masters/originators of Santo Daime) and some other curious items, Guillermo filled it with ayahuasaca from a glass jug. Augustino walked over, took the cup, held it to his forehead and drank. Carlos followed and with the next cup full Guillermo glanced at me, my turn.

I paused with the cup in my hands and thought of my intention before drinking. Fairly disgusting, an earthy taste with an offensively sour punch, but like a nasty medicine, could be drunk without much problem with the will to do so. After drinking his cup, Guillermo returned from the altar to the other side of the fire and broke the eerie silence with song. He sang acapella, the only accompaniment being the cabasa in his hands which he used to mark the rhythm – shake:shake: turn, shake:shake:turn. Some songs he sang from a hymn book, lit by a small candle, others from memory. As he sang there dressed all in white there was a priestly and holy manner about him. I could hear and see the care with which he sang.

After a while the songs stopped and Guillermo returned to the altar, picking up a small bell and ringing it; this signified the second round of ayahuasca. Again, one after another, we returned to the altar and drank the brew. After his turn Carlos left the temple and I heard him vomiting violently somewhere nearby in the surrounding darkness. On his return the songs started up again and at some point the guitars and a shaker were introduced, the trio of them playing the icaros together. The scene was somehow enchanting; the temple lit up by the crackling fire the five of us surrounded, beyond our backs the encompassing darkness of the night in the rainforest, the ceaseless hum of nocturnal life the murmuring backdrop to the holy songs and hymns ringing out to be lost amongst unseen life. The peaceful scene had a strange intensity; I could feel the power of the ancient rite and imagined all the thousands of people before me, stretching back over hundreds and thousands of years, participating in this very same ceremony.

Night in the rainforest

The songs stopped and the bell rang again: 3rd cup. After everyone had drunk Guillermo announced concentration practice and that each was free to do their own meditation. I did a breath meditation, struggling to maintain my focus, and after about 15 minutes in silence the icaros started up again. My mind was scattered and messy with thoughts flying by. I’d began to feel woozy and nauseous but yet to perceive or feel anything out of the ordinary. I laid back with my sleeping bag wrapped around me and drifted in and out of the music.

At the 4th cup, Sophie didn’t wake to the ringing bell. After everyone else had drunk, Guillermo rang the bell a few more times in an attempt to rouse her but to no avail. She seemed to be somewhere else. I drank in smaller gulps this time round – a mistake which I didn’t repeat; the taste was more apparent and about 3 quarters through I felt the contents of my stomach bubbling up. I was caught wondering whether to try and suppress it long enough to finish the cup or to head out of the temple to throw up. Cup in hand, standing indecisively, Guillermo saw it coming and took the cup from me. I darted out into the darkness and puked up pure liquid for about 20 seconds. Still kinda dazy but with a relieving lack of nausea I returned to the temple and drifted in and out of the edge of sleep, rousing at the last bell for the 5th cup.

At the 5th, Guillermo announces that it’s the last cup and that we can drink ‘a little, or more’. Still yet to feel anything from the medicine, I opted for more and made sure I drank every last drop. Sophie awoke at the bell this time round, apparently back from her travels, and drank a symbolic cup. The songs continued, as did my daze in day-dreams and messy thoughts, but unfortunately nothing else. I hadn’t had any visions, hallucinations, emotional swellings or any real change in perception of thoughts.

As beguiling as the ceremony was I felt a slight disappointment. I had come to travel a deeply personal journey as part of an ancient rite but it felt more like I’d been a spectator to the occasion. This theme would develop during my week stay, and I was starting to get an inkling for the mystery of ayahuasca. Finally the ceremony was closed; the icaros paused, some finals prayers said and Carlos played one last song.

After the Ceremony – Change, Presence and Thought Visions

As the last note rang out the transition was immediate and tangible. It was like a bubble of tension was burst; smiles replaced somber looks and were accompanied by a kind of ‘we made it’ relief. The solemn atmosphere had vanished and everyone exchanged hugs – it was unifying and quite a beautiful thing. As conversations began to start up amongst us Augustino asked me if my experience was strong. I told him not really and he flapped his hand as if already pushing it into the past, ‘la proxima’ – the next one, he reassured me. I still had two more ceremonies to come. Guillermo advised me that whatever happened during the ceremony, to keep my intention in mind in the following days to see if the medicine had any effect.

With the atmosphere light and relaxed, the guys settled down and began chatting amongst themselves. I asked Guillermo if it was OK for me to smoke a joint, unsure as many shamans advise to abstain from smoking weed for up to weeks before taking ayahuasaca.

‘Yes, it’s medicine too’ he smiled.

‘Well if the shaman says its OK then why not?’ I indulged in a smoke and passed the joint on. As I watched the trio chatting and joking with each other, I smiled to myself. It reminded me of my friends back home. Even here, 6,000 miles away in the rainforest, friends liked to close a psychedelic adventure by hanging out and having a joke over chats of their travels. I could sense their bond and felt bittersweet – I felt a fresh connection to my friends back home and missed them dearly.

I walked over to Sophie and asked her about her experience – ‘pretty heavy’ apparently. She’d had visions, images and scenes- a deceased family member in a rocking chair, people dancing in the jungle – visible and discernible for a short while before shapeshifting and morphing to form the next. While she was having them she realised that she had no control over what she was seeing, just an observer, and in her disbelief couldn’t help but smile. As we talked I could see the magic of a first psychedelic experience in her eyes; the disbelief, the experience of something truly magical – the discovery of a new world and unfathomable possibilities; I could see in her the lingering excitement of an adventurer who has recently returned. For that I felt joyous. I felt contented to have been an influence on her path there and reflected that if I didn’t gain anything but she had a positive experience – something to take away to help her on her journey – then perhaps that’s just my role in this chapter. That was enough for me.

Her head was still way up in the clouds. She would say that she wanted to go to the tents to sleep and then seconds after the decision was made would be off again with the fairies, remaining stationary and gazing absently into the distance. By the time we’d got back to the tents and were ready to sleep the sun was coming up and the birds starting their morning call. The joint seemed to have triggered something; I began to feel incredibly present and tuned in to the surroundings. I was really there in the Amazon! The sounds of the forest were intensely magnified, I heard the flutter of the birds’ wings with a crystalline quality as they flew overhead, their weird and exotic calls took on the significance of life irrepressibly living itself out. They sounded more alien than ever, more like a power up sound on a computer game than an animal. I lay awake with mouth and eyes open, listening intently and marvelling in the moment.

As I closed my eyes and began to drift off to sleep, thoughts turning over in my mind, I started to have accompanying visions. I was seeing the growth and construction of my thoughts in the same moment that I was having them, as a kind of 3D image. I would see a bright polychrome construction built up, the form mutating rapidly in time and rhythm with my thought as it progressed. Then, as my thought reached its conclusion and developed no more, the accompanying object of my vision would simultaneously mirror, stopping movement and ceasing its metamorphosis in a moment of completion, before crumbling into tiny fragments and falling away, dissipating as if turning to dust, the canvas of my mind becoming blank once more. As my mind commenced the next thought, a new accompanying vision would sprout from the nothingness and the process would repeat itself. The metamorphosis of the visual thoughts was extremely rapid, the object entirely transforming itself with every passing second, a fusion of something that seemed mechanistic and with man-made forms, but organic in nature, and always synchronised to the movement of my thought. The show continued for about half an hour before melding into my dreams as I passed through to sleep.

Continue the story – the final part … Elusive Ayahuasca – Part 3

The post Elusive Ayahuasca: 14 Cups in Bolivia pt.2 appeared first on Maps of the Mind.

Rurrenabaque

4 months into what would be 13 travelling through Latin America, I spent a week in the Bolivian rainforest. This is an account of that week long stay on the edge of the Amazon rainforest and the 3 ayahuasca ceremonies I took part in. The site was across the river from Rurrenabaque, near to San Buenaventura, Bolivia.

Part 1

Backstory

I’d decided that 2016 was the year for me to do ayahuasca in South America. I’d done ayahuasca two times before, in 2014 in the South of Spain, without heeding any great lessons, profound spiritual truths or any other things of the sort that ayahuasca is known for. In fact, it had been a little disappointing. Those two times I drank 1-2 cups each ceremony and didn’t really experience anything other than feeling sick and woozy and then disappointment. Zero visions. I got some insight and introspection after the ceremonies but ultimately felt at a bit of a loose end having had high expectations only to come out feeling more or less the same kid with the same problems.

Weeks later I left for Asia and after a year of working, travelling, and saving for my great American adventure, I was ready. I will go to South America, the home of ayahuasca, drink it there, in the Amazon basin, where it grows native and has centuries of tradition and practice, and I will finally have an ‘ayahuasca experience’. I will have powerful, profound and ineffable experiences and come out spiritually refreshed, a better person, with a greater understanding of myself and the universe.

That’s what I thought.

Finding the Shaman & Getting There

After my experiences in Spain I wondered whether the reason for my lack of feeling anything was due to lack of sufficient amount or quality of ayahuasca. Perhaps I hadn’t drunk enough. So when I heard about a shaman who’d learnt in the Santo Daime tradition doing ceremonies in Bolivia – where participants of the ceremony drink a strong ayahuasaca brew, and a lot of it – I knew that was the one for me. I contacted the shaman months ahead, before I’d even left for South America, and decided to stay for a week and do 3 ayahuasca ceremonies. We stayed in contact while I made my way from Brazil through Paraguay, Uruguay, Argentina, Chile and on to Bolivia, exchanging messages every now and then about my arrival date, what I would need and the preparatory ayahuasaca diet.

When I finally got to Bolivia after five months of awesome adventures through the continent, I could hardly believe that my date with Ayahuasca was finally up. My last stop before heading to Rurrenabaque where I would meet the shaman was the capital Sucre. The topic came up with some other people at the hostel and a Dutch girl named Sophie was very interested about what I’d said about ayahuasca, having never heard of it before and with zero experience of psychedelics. I invited her to come along with me and after a little more research into the topic the days before I was due to leave, she was on board. I sent a message to the shaman about bringing a friend with me and with the go-ahead received we made our way on an overnight bus to La Paz, before taking a 20 hour bus ride (yep) on the world’s most dangerous road from La Paz to Rurrenabaque.

Not that you can see from this picture, but this ride was in-sane

1st Day & Arrival to Base Camp

After the scariest bus ride of my life we arrived to Rurrenabaque early morning and Guillermo, our shaman, a dark Chilean man in his thirties with a coarse beard, met us at the bus station. Greeting me with a broad smile and friendly way I quickly had a good feeling about him. I rode on the back of his motorbike into town through the dusty streets surrounded by greenery, no building with more than a second storey. The scene was offset by mountains surrounding the town and covered in lush greenery, the air sticky and thick with moisture. This was another side of Bolivia. With all my belongings on my back, my tent and sleeping bag grasped in one hand, the other on to some part of the motorbike, the air rushed over my face, and through squinted eyes I admired my new surroundings; I felt free and alive. I was ready.

Road into Rurrenabaque

Rurrenabaque

We took a boat from Rurrenabaque over the river to San Buenaventura and from there were back on motorbikes for a bumpy ride away from civilisation and further into the greenery. On the ride, as we crossed rivers and streams (yes on the motorbike and yes still with my entire belongings on my back and in my hands), half Spanish-half English, I spoke with Guillermo about my previous ayahuasca experiences. He understood that before I may have not drank enough or it may not have been a strong mix, and reassured me that his brew was good and we would drink enough. He told me they were having a ceremony that night and that I could join if I wanted, or if I preferred I could take the first day to settle and attend my first ceremony the following day. I was tempted to dive right in but having arrived expecting the first ceremony to be the second day I opted for the latter. I thought an extra day of diet for preparation would probably be a good idea too.

The track leading to the camp

After a few minutes on a jungle track we pulled up. We made our way through a lightly forested area on a dirt path downwards from the main track. As we reached the bottom we came out to an opening; a clear area with a few tall trees dotted about and a few crude man-made shelters spread over a wide area. Amongst various flora there were small banana trees and yucca plants and the call of exotic birds intermittently penetrated the air. In a strange way I felt at home.

Base Camp

Guillermo pointed to us the areas of the camp, gave us some basic info about the area (don’t speak negatively if you go into the temple and don’t go to the river alone at night because Jaguars can be about… good to know), showed us where we would pitch our tent, told us he’d be back later for the ceremony and was off and away again.

The temple, a palapa, visible from where we camped

Sleeping quarters

While setting up camp a little kid with long blonde hair of about 7 years came over. Seeing that we’d left the zips of our tent open he came over and closed them, advising us in Spanish that they should be kept so… jungle kid. After some chitchat with him while he played with a stick and we finished unpacking, we ventured over to the kitchen to meet the others. We were greeted by three faces; Augustino and Maria, parents to the blonde child, and Carlos, Augustino’s nephew, who was hacking away at the base of a tree stump with an axe.

Augustino, a tall slim Argetinian in his thirties, smiled broadly and welcomed us with a vibrant energy. Amongst other jobs around the site he was in charge of the kitchen and our meals, our principal ‘host’ for the week there, offering us advice, calling us for meals and bringing water from the town. He would also be Guillermo’s right hand man during the ayahuasca ceremonies. His partner Maria was a quietly friendly Spanish lady with long dark hair and a beautiful yet somehow slightly intimidating face. Carlos, a shorter but broader, swarthy guy, another Argentinian and also part of the project there and assisting in the ceremonies, paused his chopping to greet us.

A few minutes later a French couple came down to the kitchen; Mabelle, a cute small girl with curly light brown hair, and her boyfriend Jean, a lightly bearded typically French looking guy with a stone hanging tightly round his neck on a piece of string. They’d already done one ayahuasca ceremony there and would be taking part in one more that very night. They were working around the camp in exchange for their stay, only paying cash for the ceremonies. Mabelle was a natural medicines student, she spoke English with us and told us about their first ceremony; that there was a lot of vomiting and ‘cleansing’ but not much psychological effect for her. She spoke very seriously about it and with a certain intensity. She had hopes for something more profound that night:

‘Tonight is a full moon so I think there will be lots of energy for the ceremony’

I was again tempted to opt-in, but having brought Sophie along with me I felt partly responsible for her, I didn’t want to rush her into it nor leave her to do a ceremony alone the next night.

A little later on we met Maja, the only other person staying at the site. A slender Swedish girl with long blonde hair, she had some spots on her skin around her ankles and wrists – a medical condition she’d had since a young age. She’d spent a week camping at the site, also doing some work around the site in exchange for her stay. She hadn’t yet drank ayahuasca there, but was also going to be drinking with the others at the full moon ceremony that night. After a while chatting with the others around the camp, I went with Sophie out to the river where I meditated and relaxed by the running water.

Maja walking through the camp

As the sun began to set we moved down the river to an area still in the sunlight. Maja came out and sat with us. I asked her how she felt about the ceremony that night and she thought it’s good not to think too much about it. She wasn’t nervous, in fact she was only worried about not really experiencing anything rather than experiencing something scary or chilling – those experiences are only temporary after all, she pointed out. Sophie headed back to the camp and I stayed to chat with Maja for a while. I liked her, she was friendly and had a good sense of humour. We chatted about our previous ayahuasca experiences, she’d done it once before in India with a Russian doling out the ayahuasaca to a large group before leaving everyone be- no icaros, no guidance, just the brew. It didn’t sound like a particularly metamorphic experience. Ayahuasca is a strange thing – capable of inducing colossal experiences but never guaranteed. We also talked about meditation, she was going to do a 10-day course in India later that year and I told her of the courses I’d done. She told me about the rainbow gathering that she’d recently been to in Peru and her love of India. After I while I left her with her shamanism book and headed back to camp for dinner and an early night.

Full moon that night

That night as I drifted off to sleep, faint but clearly audible, I could hear the icaros from the temple amidst the incessant undercurrent of the bugs sounding from the surrounding rainforest. I woke up briefly several times that night and could hear the icaros being played, I wondered what was going on there for them. It seemed barely believable: to me – just the faint sound of quaint guitar and singing, but perhaps for them – travels in another realm? As I continued to drift in and out of sleep throughout the night I continued to hear the songs; the ceremony seemed long, really long, seemed they were going all night.

2nd Day – Day of the 1st Ceremony

The next day I awoke and after crawling out of the tent headed to the kitchen for breakfast. The sun had risen a good few hours before. Music was playing from a small speaker and Augustino was there preparing breakfast in a cheerful manner. The French couple were sat around on the benches, looking considerably altered in their own ways. Mabelle looked like she had seen a ghost and was gazing into the distance with eyes wide open. Jean seemed more with it but like he was still traversing distant landscapes in some part of his mind. I asked them about the ceremony. As he passed a joint to Augustino, with eyes half closed, Jean told me he was still up in the clouds (well he actually just whistled lazily while flying his hand through the air like a plane). None of them had slept yet. After the ceremony they had left the temple and sat out under the full moon, and had indeed continued to play music and sit together until sunrise. Mabelle was staring fixedly at the ground, her face in awe, her mind clearly turning over the things she’d experienced.

Augustino offered advice ‘Mabelle, I can see you are thinking, but don’t think too much about it, it won’t serve you.’

Mabelle briefly snapped out of her trance with a nervous smile, and got up from the ground. Sophie came down to the kitchen and was soon followed by Maja. Maja had been to the river, it had been her first wash in about a week.
‘I needed to go and wash; wash my body and wash my mind.’ she explained.
Sophie asked her about the ceremony. Maja hesitated and looked unsure of what to say. Sophie asked again and couldn’t subdue her curiosity, starting to press with her inquiries.

Mata shuffled awkwardly ‘I don’t know, it’s hard to say now. Maybe later.’

Later on, by our tents, Mabelle told me about what she had experienced. She’d completely lost concept of space and time; it was ‘hermoso’ – beautiful. She spoke with incredulity, almost as if she were doubting her words as she spoke them. She was in another way and in the coming days her presence was lighter, totally different from the serious French girl I’d met on the first day. Now she was still up in the stars. She’d experienced something profound, and I was beginning to feel a mix of anticipation and apprehension about the first ceremony that night.

That afternoon I went to the river to cool down, meditate, and try to relax myself ahead of the ceremony. I returned for lunch, my last meal before due to the fast, and then took it easy around camp. Augustino recommended Sophie and I get some rest before the night. Around 7, with the sun setting, we climbed into the tent and dozed off. They would come to wake us for the ceremony, due to start around 11pm.

After a few hours sleep I woke in a haze and wondered how long it would be until ceremony. I checked the time and it was almost 11, must be pretty soon I thought. Having been told they’d come and get us, I drifted back off to sleep. I woke up again a while later and checked the time: 11:25pm. It’s past the scheduled start time, maybe we aren’t doing the ceremony tonight. Nah, they must be running late. I drifted back to sleep. Next time check: past midnight. As time drifted on I wondered what was going on. Why hadn’t we started the ceremony? Where was Guillermo? Maybe we weren’t going to do a ceremony tonight after all. I wanted to go out and ask but I was tired and still in a sleepy daze. I’ll speak to them about it tomorrow, I thought, and went back to sleep.

Soon after, I awoke to the sound of shoes rustling just outside the tent. Guillermo’s voice sounded gently…
‘John’
‘Yes’
‘Ceremony time’

Continue reading: Elusive Ayahuasca – Part 2

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