{"id":7738,"date":"2020-09-03T16:23:07","date_gmt":"2020-09-03T14:23:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mapsofthemind.com\/?p=7738"},"modified":"2023-01-30T18:36:05","modified_gmt":"2023-01-30T17:36:05","slug":"how-to-integrate-difficult-remember-dmt-experience","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mapsofthemind.com\/2020\/09\/03\/how-to-integrate-difficult-remember-dmt-experience\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Integrate a Difficult-to-Remember DMT Experience"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is a guest post from the great Sam Woolfe<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

One of the most common features (and frustrations) associated with the DMT experience is that despite being profound, it can also be very difficult to recall<\/a>. DMT has a dream-like quality to it, in that you quickly lose your memory of the DMT trip as you return to normal waking consciousness. Terence McKenna drew attention to this quality of the experience when he said: \u201cthe way a dream melts away is the way a DMT trip melts away,\u201d adding that \u201c[t]here is a self-erasing mechanism in it\u201d.<\/p>\n

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\nImage by Pretty Drug Things<\/em><\/p>\n

Many people who experience DMT, especially at the breakthrough levels<\/a>, will find that they simply can\u2019t remember the bulk of what they experienced. This is something quite unique to the DMT flash and I think part of it comes down to the extremely ineffable nature of the DMT experience, which you could even call hyper-ineffable, with certain aspects not only being indescribable but also unrememberable.<\/p>\n

Some people might accept this is a DMT quirk and think nothing of it, whereas others might feel that a lot of important knowledge and insight was lost when the amnesia set in. Whatever your attitude may be about DMT and memory loss, one challenge remains: how can you integrate a DMT experience that is difficult to remember?<\/p>\n

In this article, I\u2019d like to share my own experiences of DMT and memory loss, relating to one experience, in particular, that took place six years ago, but which I still mull over sometimes. This has been my most profound psychedelic experience to date, yet it has also been the most difficult to remember, with essentially most of the trip (apparently) erased from my memory. However, over the years, I have still been able to integrate the experience by way of helpful discussions, enlightening books, and productive introspection. First, here\u2019s a brief description of what my experience was like.<\/p>\n

My Mystical DMT Experience<\/h2>\n

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One day, I decided to go on a solo psychedelic journey and took 430mg of mescaline HCL. This experience was highly profound in itself, with emotional and life-affirming insights. It felt like the negativity bias had been flushed out of me, replaced instead by existential joy. At the peak of the experience or perhaps just after, however, I had the thought of smoking DMT. I wanted to aim for a breakthrough.<\/p>\n

I got everything ready and, for the first time, I had zero anticipatory fear or anxiety, something that was usually quite prominent any previous time before blasting off. I think the lack of pre-trip jitters (and the mescaline, no doubt) helped me to go deeper into the experience than I otherwise might have.<\/p>\n

I was \u2018congratulated\u2019 for taking the last hit by some presence or presences, to my amusement. After that, I began to lay down and remember a tsunami of colour and patterns enveloping me. I\u2019m not sure I even remember feeling my body completely lay down; my sense of self and body was snuffed out in an instant.<\/p>\n

From this point on, the memories are hazy and sparse. My clearest memory was having what felt to be universal knowledge. Every question was answered. There were no mysteries left to be solved. These insights felt as clear as the understanding that follows when you finally solve a problem you\u2019ve been working on for a long time: the immediate relief of clear understanding. There came a point though where I had to leave this realm of universal knowledge and I was told (or knew) that as I was leaving, I wouldn\u2019t be able to bring this knowledge back with me. The cosmic secrets had to remain in this realm and this realm only. A pity, I thought.<\/p>\n

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I do have a snapshot memory of then travelling through a psychedelic wormhole or tunnel, ending up in a realm with ever-shifting activity. This activity was going on for what felt like an eternity \u2013 I definitely had the sense of being away for aeons and certainly could not imagine that there would be a time or place in which this experience was not happening.<\/p>\n

But eventually, I gained some perception of my body, feeling the pressure of the floor against my back. At this point, though, my \u2018body\u2019 felt nothing more than pulsating, pleasurable energy \u2013 everything about me seemed to have melted into the totality of the experience. As I regained more bodily awareness, at a certain point I opened my eyes, as if in shock. I saw multi-layered DMT-like patterns above me, so I was half in my room, half in this heavenly realm. I closed my eyes again and I was still somewhat back in hyperspace. There were entities engaged in all sorts of frenzied, zany activities.<\/p>\n

After opening my eyes a second time, I went into the fetal position and began sobbing, feeling like pure consciousness. I had felt the presence of the divine: this titanic, loving, and merciful force. I had the feeling of being shot out of some cosmic womb, reborn, and given a second chance at life. I was utterly stunned and in disbelief about the whole experience. Slowly, piece-by-piece, I regained my sense of identity and my memories, realising I had a life here on Earth and had returned to it.<\/p>\n

After the Experience<\/h2>\n

I have thought about this experience a lot since it happened six years ago, but one of my personal frustrations has been how little I remember and whether my thoughts about the experience or what I wrote down some time after the experience even approaches what actually occurred.<\/p>\n

There are many things, nonetheless, that have helped me to integrate this experience (and other DMT experiences), despite the gaps in memory. Before describing these techniques, I\u2019d first like to touch on why integration has helped me and how it might benefit you, as well.<\/p>\n