Tag Archive for: LSD

mdma lsd candyflipping trauma heal healing parent
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Candyflipping to Heal Complex Trauma: Combining LSD & MDMA

This is a guest post from the great Theo. Find him on his website Untangling Self or Twitter.

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Combining LSD (enhanced creativity and imaginal powers) and MDMA (radical love and emotional safety) to heal complex trauma (#cPTSD) ft. Ideal Parent Figure Protocol

Understanding Complex Trauma: More Than Just Events

You know how we have these negative incident traumas that cause us to develop fear-based emotional learnings?

These events are tangible and specific, making them relatively straightforward to process and resolve. But then there’s complex trauma. It’s not about a single big incident or even a few big incidents, but rather the accumulation of a series of incidents over many years. 

Often, it’s not even about something that happened, but things that did not happen, like emotional neglect. Something like your mother not being attuned to your needs or not getting enough physical touch/affection in your early years or your father not being as present. Such psychological malnourishment stunts our development in many tangible and intangible ways, and since none of us had perfect parenting, we are all affected by these issues of lack, to varying degrees.

Ideal Parent Figure Protocol: Tapping Into Innate Reservoirs of Love

Before I delve into my candyflipping experience, let me introduce the Ideal Parent Figure (IPF) protocol which unexpectedly shaped my experience in a beautiful way.

This protocol involves imagining an ideal set of parents that are perfectly suited for you — deeply attuned, present, caring, affectionate, etc.

The Ideal Parent Figure protocol is more than just an exercise in imagination; it can be a beautiful journey into the depths of our own innate capacity for love. This practice enables us to tap into our existing, perhaps untapped, reservoirs of love and affection. 

mdma lsd candyflipping trauma heal healing parent

By envisioning the perfect parental figures, we don’t just create a fantasy; we awaken and mobilize the deep-seated love and nurturing instincts that reside within us. Through this process, we can channel this awakened love towards the parts of us that have long yearned for it — the neglected, the unseen, the unacknowledged. It’s like directing a healing stream of compassion and understanding to the corners of our psyche that were left barren in our formative years. This internal flow of love helps in filling the voids left by what we lacked and forming a new, healthy internal working model of secure attachment. 

Candyflipping: Magical Synergies

In my personal healing journey, I’ve been delving into the potential of altered states to facilitate the healing of complex trauma.

Particularly intriguing to me is the exploration of synergistic combinations of substances or modalities that might work in harmony to unlock deeper healing. Having processed the explicit, more accessible memories of hurt, I recognize that the journey is far from complete. There are subtle rigidities and tensions that linger in my being, manifesting not just physically but also in my relationships. These subtleties hint at unresolved, deeper aspects of trauma, possibly rooted in the implicit and non-verbal realms of the psyche.

Consequently, I turned to a combination of LSD and MDMA, a pairing often referred to as ‘candyflipping.’ This combination is reputed to be safe and synergistic, potentially offering a unique therapeutic landscape. I could imagine the magic of combining LSD’s boundless creativity with MDMA’s heart-opening warmth for an exercise like the Ideal Parent Figure (IPF) protocol. It felt like having the perfect tools at my fingertips for some serious emotional alchemy.

Trip Report: Nourishing Emotional Landscapes

I went into my session without any specific intentions or plans. I started with 100ug of LSD, intending to take 150mg of MDMA after two hours to align their peaks. The initial part of my LSD trip felt random and chaotic. But when MDMA entered my system, the chaos subsided, and the experience became grounded and centered, like a deeply attuned teacher calming a rowdy classroom with love and gentleness.

My mind spontaneously initiated the Ideal Parent Figure process. I started reliving my childhood, intuitively filling up the holes in the parenting I received. It almost felt like it was happening to me, not something I was consciously doing. LSD opened up my mind’s creative floodgates, making the imagined ideal parents in the IPF exercise come alive in vivid, almost tangible detail. It was like painting with an expanded palette of emotional and imaginative colors. Then, enter MDMA, the perfect dance partner for LSD in this journey. MDMA really turned up the volume on feelings of love. It’s like it opened a door in my heart to let in big, warm waves of unconditional love that just kept flowing. More importantly, it allowed me to attune to the needs of my neglected parts and then be with them in ways they needed someone to be. 

For me, the dominant feeling during the trip was that of security and stability. I felt radically safe, protected, and seen, which led to a lot of somatic release. As I felt safer, I could relax and let go of body tension I didn’t even know I had. The imaginal work wasn’t just a mental exercise; it was actively transforming my emotional and physical responses. It was as if each release was a physical manifestation of a psychological burden being lifted, a sign that the parts of me that had been holding onto these tensions, perhaps as a response to past traumas or unmet needs, were now able to let go. This process was not just about imagining a safer, more loving environment but actually experiencing it in a way that my body recognized and responded to. It reflected the profound interconnectedness of mind and body, and how imaginal work can bridge the two to facilitate deep healing.

Elaborating on the Ideal Parent Figure Protocol

I believe having role models of what healthy parenting looks like is valuable in the Ideal Parent Figure (IPF) protocol. For me, books, stories, and movies were invaluable resources in this quest. These mediums often present diverse portrayals of parental figures, offering a rich array of examples of loving, supportive, and nurturing parents. As you explore these stories, you may find certain portrayals of mothers or fathers that resonate deeply with you, almost as if they’re filling in the gaps left by your own experiences.

mdma lsd candyflipping trauma heal healing parent

Moreover, engaging with these stories does more than just provide examples; it also helps you develop a heightened sensitivity to your own needs. As you empathize with characters and their relationships, you begin to better understand your own emotional landscape. You start to identify what kind of support, affection, and guidance you needed but didn’t receive. This understanding is key in the IPF protocol, as it guides you in imagining ideal parents who can meet these specific, previously unmet needs.

I find it important to clarify that the Ideal Parent Figure (IPF) protocol isn’t about replacing, competing with, or correcting your actual parents. It’s a thoughtful imaginal exercise that also helps you develop a deeper empathy for your real parents, understanding their limitations and strengths. The experience not only allowed me to experience ideal parenting but also helped me connect more deeply with my actual parents, especially my father. It gave me a deeper understanding of our relationship. I could also allow myself to feel and cherish the gifts and love I have inherited from him.

In a way, the IPF protocol serves as a bridge to access the love you did experience from your parents and others in your life, even if it was imperfect or sporadic. And then redirecting that love, focusing that energy in a more attuned and intentional way towards parts of yourself that missed out on it.

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Find more from Theo at his website Untangling Self or on Twitter.

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platforms of psychedelic experience

Platforms of Psychedelic Experience

It can be hard to make sense of the mysterious experiences and unfamiliar realities we are plunged into in deep psychedelic states. For this reason it can be useful to have some kind of map of the psychedelic terrain.

In his book LSD and the Mind of the Universe, Christopher Bache follows Stan Grof in using three categories to distinguish different states of consciousness that are accessed in psychedelic and holotropic breathwork sessions. Bache calls these “platforms of experience”. The book is a treasure trove of theory for psychedelic explorers, and this post will be the third in what has unwittingly turned out to be a series of blog posts based on concepts drawn from it. 

In this post, I will give a little background on these terms and then outline the three levels based on Bache’s explanation. Bache distinguishes between three “platforms”, which he terms  psychic, subtle and causal.

The terms

ken wilber atman project

The terms psychic, subtle, and causal were first coined by Ken Wilber in his 1980 book, The Atman Project. Wilber drew from Hindu and Buddhist sources and used them to label the evolutionary stepping stones on the psycho-spiritual journey. Wilber’s model, which also included non-duality, had four stages and culminated in non-dual spiritual enlightenment. In his outline, Bache does not include non-dual as a separate state as he found it to be an inherent feature of causal consciousness. 

Stan Grof’s description was phenomenological rather than hierarchical. He didn’t use the terms to describe an ordered sequence of  levels on a path as Wilber did, but rather to distinguish coexisting dimensions of consciousness, each with its own characteristics. 

Consciousness = Reality

These different levels of consciousness allow one to experience the corresponding aspects of reality. For example, a psychic level of consciousness allows one to explore psychic levels of reality; subtle level consciousness grants one access to subtle levels of reality; and causal, likewise. The value of entering these states is that they allow us to explore different levels of non-physical reality. As the late great Boston psychonaut Kilindi Iyi said of psilocybin, ‘it is, in its first and foremost principle, a tool of exploration’. 

Before beginning, it should be noted that Bache’s explanations accept the premise of reincarnation. I am not presenting this as truth, but write here to share ideas. 

Psychic level

At the psychic level one leaves physical reality and enters a spiritual realm. There remains, however, the sense of a separate self, as one’s conditioning from space time carries over. The experience is therefore that of being a separate spiritual entity amongst other discarnate entities. Our experience is still that of ourselves, but without our body. I would still be me, John, but disembodied, my ‘discarnate self’. Psychic level experience has a soul-centric quality to it, meaning that one will experience the soul, or ‘psyche’ of their current life.

Subtle level

At the subtle level one perceives the larger realities and more fundamental building blocks that make up life. One still has an experience of separateness, but the separate parts are larger and more basic than at the psychic level. If our separate selves are the individual rooms of a skyscraper, the parts we experience in subtle consciousness are like the steel girders of the building. We can begin to see the deeper architecture of what we call existence.

One may experience the collective consciousness of our species, or even of other species, and the archetypical forces that make up space time. Going deeper than the individual self, one may open to an experience of the spiritual self that reincarnates as many different forms through different lifetimes.

Here is a line from Bache that made me laugh:

“I’ve always thought that “subtle” was a strange name for this level of consciousness because there is really nothing subtle about it at all. Quite the opposite, in fact”.

Causal level

The first signature of causal consciousness is Oneness. Though Oneness may show up in one way or another at the other levels, as it is a fundamental truth of existence, oneness takes on another quality at the causal level. There is an experience of the universe moving as a single entity. There is no way of perceiving this Oneness from outside of it as it is the whole thing. Experience of Oneness at this level is the totality of existence perceiving itself, so any sense of separation is gone. Light, as with Oneness, may also show up in other levels, but is more refined at the casual level. 

Maps of experience

These platforms of experience form just one cosmological map and there may be many other ways of mapping spiritual (non-physical) experience. The Psychedelic Experience, a manual by Leary et al. based on the Tibetan Book of the Dead was another map of consciousness, and I I have also heard that the Bhagavad Gita can be used.

Ultimately though, the map is not the territory. I believe Bache said it perfectly:

“In the end, all these categories are only labels of approximation and convenience. One may divide the spectrum of spiritual reality in many ways […] it would be foolish to think we could do justice to the vast expanse of spiritual reality by using just three or six categories”.

Final Thoughts

Without any kind of frame for understanding, the new and at times intensely unfamiliar and alien realities we can visit in sessions can be disorienting, even once we have returned to normal consciousness. We may not know what to do with these experiences, and without sufficient context or points of reference and this can lead to feelings of bemusement or confusion.

This was certainly the case for me after my first DMT experience, and to a degree, my first LSD experiences. With no real place for these types of spiritual experiences in a culture where reductive materialism is a prevailing worldview, I found solace in Buddhist texts, which helped me to integrate these non-ordinary experiences and offered instructions on how to navigate them.

For explorers heading into new territories, having some kind of map or frame can be of great use. With this in mind, I encourage psychonauts to mentally try ideas like these on for size when embarking on a path of deep exploration. 

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cosmic psychedelic exploration
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What is “Psychedelic Exploration”?

In his book LSD and the Mind of the Universe, philosophy professor and extreme psychonaut Christopher Bache shares his journey of cosmic discovery through an extended series of high dose LSD sessions over the course of two decades. In this book he talks about a psychedelic protocol which he unintentionally developed on his path: Psychedelic exploration. 

LSD mind of the universe bache book

Psychedelic exploration, as Bache calls this new protocol, is distinct from the two therapeutic modalities currently used widely in the West today: psycholytic therapy, and psychedelic therapy.

Before talking about psychedelic exploration I will give an outline of these first terms.

Psycholytic Therapy

  • Low dose (75–300 mcg LSD, typically 200 mcg)
  • Sessions typically at one-week or two-week intervals
  • 15–100 sessions in a course (on average ~40 sessions)

Therapeutic processes, such as emotional abreaction and catharsis, are intensified in a psycholytic therapy session. This calls for a flexible and dynamic relationship between the therapist and the patient. The lower dose, as compared to psychedelic therapy, allows for a more gentle opening of the psyche allowing the work to be done in layers and gradually over a longer time frame.

Psychedelic Therapy

  • High dose (300–500 mcg LSD)
  • Sessions typically at one-week or two-week intervals
  • 1–3 sessions in a course
  • Sometimes known as the “single overwhelming dose” approach

Awareness is much more powerfully magnified than in psycholytic therapy. The high dose is intended to blast the journeyer straight past the psychodynamic level of consciousness to a spiritual experience of ego dissolution. This gives them a new viewpoint, and therefore a novel perspective on their personal problems. 

There is little to no verbal interaction between the patient and therapist (or sitter/guide). The patient typically wears an eye shade and headphones, and their focus is on looking inside, connecting to their inner healing wisdom. This is the standard in psychedelic research today, and its fast track means that it could be thought of as something like ‘the lightning path’ of psychedelics.

Psychedelic Exploration

  • High dose (500–600 mcg LSD)
  • Extended series of sessions over many years

“This is what happens if you push psychedelic therapy as far as you can take it”

When he set out on his journey, Bache intended to do an extended course of psychedelic therapy. His approach thus incorporated practices and procedures of psychedelic therapy such as physical isolation, minimal verbal interaction, and intensely evocative music.

However, when he looked back on his path, he realised that the high number of sessions made it quite distinct from psychedelic therapy. An extended course like this brings with it different experiential opportunities as well as unique challenges that go beyond those encountered in a single or shorter run of sessions. Each session becomes a chapter in its own right of a larger psychedelic journey, as opposed to the chapters being sections of a single session (or trilogy of).

Bache’s course was 73 sessions over 20 years, and he describes it as more of an intense cosmic exploration than a therapeutic enterprise. Rather than a single experience of transcendence, psychedelic exploration is, as he puts it, “an ever-deepening spiral of initiation into the universe.” 

Words of caution

Bache gives his words of warning, saying that anyone considering embarking on a path of psychedelic exploration should think long and hard before doing so. He advises that additional precautions should be taken and that one’s life circumstances and support systems must be stable and strong enough to undertake such a journey.

He shares his challenges in the book, and it is essential reading for anyone considering this route.

The future of psychedelic exploration

I imagine psychedelic research centers like those of Imperial and Johns Hopkins will incorporate this type of work into their research when the time is right. Though there have been a few studies to date exploring the spiritual experience of psychedelics, such as the Marsh Chapel experiment, at present, research is mostly focused on clinical use and therapeutic application. I understand this to be a good entry point for psychedelics into the mainstream, and perhaps a strategic one by some forces in the movement, but I am very excited to see the scope of work broadened to the areas of philosophy and spirituality. Opening up research to these areas will deepen our understanding of these substances and their applications. 

Final Thoughts

The experiences shared by Bache and the frontiers he has crossed both fascinate and excite the adventurer inside me. I believe psychedelic exploration will be adopted by more and more people over the coming decades, and those explorers will be at the forefront of cosmic exploration. Rather than space travel, this is where the far more interesting investigation into the frontiers of exploration and discovery lie for humanity.

This is the path for the true cosmonauts of tomorrow. The information they bring back will greatly add to our understanding of humanity, and beyond that, consciousness and spiritual reality. If those travellers bring back maps of the terrain, and share their findings as systematically and comprehensively as Bache has done, they will greatly contribute to the sum of knowledge, ushering humanity into a new era and the next stage of our evolution.

I wonder what lies beyond humanity. We were not always humans and we won’t always be. On our journey to becoming human we have descended from nothingness to pass through existence as stardust, bacteria, and apes. What is next? I believe psychedelic exploration is a essential catalyst in our journey of learning and evolution.

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I am tweeting my highlights from the book in a thread on twitter here, which includes quotes on the psychedelic ego and spiritual bypassing.

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psychedelics process emotions

Taking Psychedelics When You’re Not Feeling Good

You might have heard the advice that it’s best to not take psychedelics when you’re not feeling good. General mainstream advice for DIY users is to ‘wait until you’re in a better place’.

If your aim is to feel good during the session itself, then I would agree: wait until you’re in a better place. But when taking psychedelics for reasons of personal growth or learning, this maxim may be trumped by deeper considerations. 

Trippers With Severe Depression & Anxiety

Two groundbreaking studies have helped bring credibility and prominence to mainstream psychedelics based on the psychedelic experiences of people who would not be considered to be feeling good. At Imperial College London, their landmark study explored using  psilocybin to help  those with treatment-resistant depression, in other words, a persistent depression that many treatments have failed to ameliorate. In another landmark study at Johns Hopkins, psilocybin was shown to alleviate end of life anxiety in terminally ill cancer patients. In both these cases, participants clearly faced challenges in their emotional state.

The ‘set’ of the psychedelic tenet of set and setting generally refers to the mindset of the tripper and is broadly understood as the psychonaut’s internal state. This can include their outlook, how they’re feeling, and their mood.

However, when it comes to having a beneficial session, I would say that mindset is a far broader concept than mood, feelings, or emotional state.

Mindset Beyond Emotional State

As well as feelings and emotions, mindset includes how the experience is framed. How we frame something shapes how we see it: it is our perspective on what we are doing. Is the session billed as a time to have fun? Or is it understood as a rare and precious opportunity for learning? These intentions determine how we approach the session. Is it approached with respect? Is it approached with trust in how the experience may unfold?

Those taking part in the studies I’ve mentioned were prepared accordingly in matters of mindset; you see the psilocybin flight instructions here. Their sessions were not approached as a fun time with friends, but with a formality more akin to that of a ceremony or sesshin. Accordingly, participants were directed to be open to whatever arises, to trust in the experience, and to let go of any preconceived ideas about how the session ‘should’ go.

If the mindset is right, the person adequately prepared, in a safe setting and sufficiently supported during the experience, and with support systems in place for afterwards, and  then I would say that tripping when you’re feeling low can be one of the most useful and dare I say obvious times to trip.

storm sunlight

My Experiences

I have personally taken psychedelics in a session format in some of the more rocky emotional patches of my life. 

One example is the time my parents were separating and I was coming to terms with the fact I would be seeing the home I’d always known being put up for sale. My mood and emotional state at the time was not what would be described as good; I was crying on the train up to do my session. However, I approached the occasion with great respect and formality. The resulting experience provided me with enormous relief and understanding, and I now see it as one of the landmark healing experiences of my life.

I have used psychedelics at various other times when going through bumpy patches and difficult chapters – at times when it might be considered ‘not the best time to trip’.

On these occasions, psychedelics have allowed me to see what was beneath, to really be in touch with my deeper, hidden, often repressed and unconscious thoughts and feelings, and given me a chance to process them.

I have seen shadow parts of myself, parts of myself that I was ashamed of. Some examples include a desire to earn more money, a desire to have more creative control on a project, and a sadness that was hidden. I avoided them because of various unconscious beliefs I held around them: that wanting more money means I’m greedy; that wanting more control means I’m power hungry; and that I shouldn’t feel sad about a certain event because I didn’t do anything wrong. 

The experiences I’m describing helped me to see all of these things and better understand myself. This was the first step towards acknowledging these hidden thoughts and as such, accepting them. Psychedelics have been such honest allies, revealing things inside me that I’ve found hard to accept. 

In every one of these sessions I had rough journeys and difficult experiences, and each time, I have felt so grateful for the opportunity.

These are tools which have helped me tremendously, through good times, but also especially through the bad times. 

 

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Setting: The Environment for a Psychedelic Experience

Set and setting are two of the biggest contributors in how a psychedelic experience turns out. They are arguably as important as the dose and substance itself and together form the context for the experience.

Set refers to mindset; the persons inner state when they take the drug; their frame of mind, attitude and mood.

Setting refers to the physical environment of the experience. This includes for example; the location or room, the company or trip sitter, and the music.

Setting: The Environment for a Psychedelic Experience

This post will look at setting and why it should be considered carefully when planning a psychedelic experience.

Setting is part of the experience

The environment for any experience is the vehicle in which it is received and can actually be considered a part of the experience itself.  As such, it should not be underestimated in terms of how much influence it can have.

Consider how a frame is used to change the experience of viewing a piece of art. Does it change the piece of art itself? Whether it has a frame around it or not, it is the same piece of visual information hanging on the wall. However, it changes how it is viewed and received. It is part of the experience.

Consider some other experiences and how much the environment or method of delivery influences the experience as a whole:

  • The experience of being in a fancy fine dining restaurant vs. eating in as fast food joint. Consider how the experience is different before you’ve even eaten any food.
  • Seeing a band play at a huge festival with thousands of people singing along, dancing and enjoying themselves vs. seeing a band play in a small half-empty room with a handful of disinterested people
  • Taking a drink from a nice glass vs. from a cheap plastic bottle

Setting changes set

Setting can also influence the internal state of someone and their ability to do certain things. Imagine you have some work to do that requires your full focus and concentration.

Now imagine trying to do that work in a hot, noisy and crowded environment. Imagine trying to do it outside on a busy street on a hot day with direct sunlight pounding down on you.

Now imagine doing that work in a cool, quiet, and distraction-free room. Imagine being at home with an air fan to keep you cool, some noise-cancelling headphones playing brain.fm, and an accountability partner to check in with at the end of an hour of work.

Do you think you would have the same level of focus in each scenario? Would the results of the work be the same?

In the scenario of a psychedelic session, the setting can be considered to help one navigate their journey more successfully. It is like the difference between trying to steer a ship alone and being heavily distracted vs. trying to navigate a ship in peace with someone by your side to support you. Which is more likely to get you to your destination?

Setting & Mood

Setting can have a big influence on how one feels. Taking a psychedelic in a club surrounded by many strangers with loud music and flashing lights is going to be a very different experience to being in a room with soft soothing music, low lighting, a comfortable place to lay down, and a trusted friend. The second one will promote feelings of relaxation. In the context of a high-dose psychedelic experience, this can be very beneficial to help someone let go more fully.

Creating the setting can be considered as creating the atmosphere or the ambience for a session.

Factors to consider when creating a setting

  • Sound
  • Music
  • Lighting
  • Art
  • Items/Decoration
  • Altar
  • Clothes
  • Comfort
  • Heat
  • Airflow
  • Smell
  • Company
  • Tripsitter

Themes to consider

  • Comfort
  • Privacy
  • Peace
  • Security
  • Safety
  • Simplicity
  • Space

Cultural Context

The setting can also include the city or country in which you have your psychedelic experience. Factors include the legal status; could you go to prison or worse for taking a psychedelic substance, or is it totally legal? Also, what is the cultural context; the public opinion and media representation of psychedelics? An experience in New York will be very different to that of one in Peru and again likewise different to that of one in Amsterdam.

When planning a psychedelic experience consider not just the substance and dose but also think carefully about the setting. It is possible to have a meaningful experience on a lower dose if the set and setting are prepared accordingly and the experience infused with a kind of meaning. The effect of setting on an experience is magnified on psychedelics, and as such is worth careful consideration.

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