groups psychedelic integration processes

Insights on The Power of Groups in Psychedelic Integration

Hello and welcome to day 29 PSYJuly 🙂 Can you believe it? We’re almost at a close!
Today we have a post from my friend and fellow Berlin based psychedelic enthusiast David Heuer. I first met Dave at Beyond Psychedelics in 2018, when we both showed up for pre-conference psychedelic facilitation workshop with Bill Richards, and since then Dave has guided many group integration processes with the MIND foundation, and I am happy to share some of his insights today…

Insights on The Power of Groups in Psychedelic Integration

Psychedelic experiences are a naturally occurring and potentially awe-inspiring part on the spectrum of human experiencing (and beyond). Due to the increased interest in psychedelics, and the challenges that come with new attempts on trying to embed and legitimize their usage in (post)modern societies, the concept of psychedelic integration has become a prominent buzzword in different groups within the psychedelic field. A range of varyingly specialized providers are offering psychedelic integration coaching and therapy, handbooks, workbooks, and courses on the topic, as well as many different ideas on what it should entail.

Instead of trying to give a concise definition of what psychedelic integration might be, I want to share with you some insights coming from four years of developing and facilitating various psychedelic integration formats. At MIND Foundation we are currently offering a 5-day group intensive, and a 6-week online course. The main goal is to support all participants in developing a beneficial stance towards their psychedelic experiences. I want to focus on a core aspect, which both formats share, that I’d like to explore a little deeper with you here. It is the social aspect of psychedelic integration, namely, coming together in a group of like-minded people.

Psychedelic Integration and the Need to Connect

Psychedelic experiences can be very intense, also accounting for the deep sense of unity and connection that we might be blessed to feel for the time being. Were you ever taken by such a deep sense of connection? Or any other experiential quality that addressed your whole being tremendously? In which way could you express this feeling at the time?

While it is often the case, that we are having the experiences mostly internally (depending on the setting of course), the urge to connect with others through our experiences is very common.

What I am experiencing in my work as a psychedelic integration facilitator, really as a human being in general, is that we all want to be seen, be heard, be witnessed and provide that for others, too. The idea of coming together in a circle is probably at least as old as human beings. And the main reason for that is the sheer power of shared presence and connection.

How Can We Connect in Deeper Ways?

When we enter the port together as fellow psychonauts, who sailed the same ocean but on different routes and different vessels, we are still sharing a certain way of experiencing. Why is the tavern such a highly frequented place? Because finally, the sailor can share all the stories of monsters conquered and tides survived.

The (partial) ineffability of psychedelic experiences is partly due to the lack of context, we can normally give. What we can “say” about a psychedelic experience can feel like faint glimpses of the density and intensity of the actual experience. However, finding ways to express these experiences (also going beyond words!) can still have a range of positive effects.

In a sense, psychedelic integration boils down to learning from psychedelic experiences (and applying the lessons). While this is something we have to do individually, the social dimension of psychedelic integration is not to be underestimated. Integration circles are a basic and powerful format to connect with our experiences and others to achieve a greater sense of wholeness.

Beyond the idea of coming together and sharing, structuring such a process can help to fully harness the power of group dynamics and personal exploration. In BEYOND EXPERIENCE and Footsteps, we are combining personal exploration through various means with a multitude of interaction methods to create a rhythm and space, where ‘missing pieces’ can be found and assembled to an (ever-evolving) personal integration puzzle.

How Being in Groups May Facilitate Deeper Integration Processes

Here are a few factors, why semi-structured group processes can help with psychedelic integration:

✔ Time to get to know each other deeper, in a structured way, providing a bigger context from which we can be understood in more width and depth.

     → Guiding questions for showing ourselves and being seen could be: What were significant biographical incidents in my life? How extensive is my experience with altered states? Do I engage in any spiritual practice? What are my core values? Etc.

✔ Deep listening processes / mirroring.

     → Practicing our capacity to listen deeply to another’s sharing and being mindful about any sensations and thoughts that come up without being reactive can help us attending to our own experiential content in the same way (compassion as encompassing).

✔ Combining integration mediators, e.g. creative expression (painting etc.) can mediate integration processes by allowing non-verbalized content to emerge.

     → Doing this in a group is adding even more layers to this. Sharing about a creative expression, group members can (consensually) share their perspective and felt resonances. Often what we can’t see ourselves is most apparent to others.

✔ Normalization of psychedelic experiences.

     → To be able to speak openly about your experiences with like-minded people can be liberating in itself.

✔ Diversity of phenomenology, often shared values.

     → Coming in contact with a wide range of different psychedelic experiences, puts our own story in perspective. At the same time, connecting with all the similarities and differences we have, can assure us of being okay the way we are. Harmony doesn’t mean smoothing out the edges

✔ Being seen in a more holistic way.

     → Making changes and ‘doing something’ with our experiences is only one aspect of psychedelic integration. It is at least equally important to simply take time for our integration processes and not be focused on any outcome. Even in times where we are apparently not doing anything, nothing is left undone.

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About David
David A. Heuer is MIND Foundation’s integration program manager, project leader, and a key contributor to the BEYOND EXPERIENCE workshop. With a deep interest in the complex processes involved in integrating psychedelic experiences, he is co-developing the Integration & Augmented Psychotherapy Training and creating other multi-modal formats like the Footsteps webinar.

In 2020, he graduated from the University of Hildesheim with a Master of Arts in intercultural philosophy and arts. With a master’s thesis focusing on the notion of “experience” and its implications for understanding psychedelic integration, his main research interest lies in bridging theoretical and practical aspects of psychedelic integration work. David is a psychedelic integration counselor, intercultural philosopher, gestalt practitioner, author, and workshop facilitator.

With his work in MIND, he wishes to contribute to a culture of psychedelic integration that advances the creation of diverse beneficial contexts for a well-informed, skilled, and supported engagement with psychedelic experiences.

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mushrooms how often should i trip psilocybin
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How Often Should You Take Psychedelics?

‘How often should I take psychedelics?’

This is a question I am often asked. And of course, there is no single right answer. So instead of trying to give one, I’ll share my thoughts on the topic.

What is the right amount?

You can’t really put a number such as ‘x times per year or month’ and say ‘that’s the right amount’, because it totally depends on the person and their circumstances. It’s like asking ‘what’s the right dose?’. It can’t simply be answered in any meaningful way. It depends.

It depends on you, your intentions, and your current circumstances. Why are you taking psychedelics? Where are you at in your journey, and where do you want to go next?

If using psychedelics for recreation or leisure, it’s like asking ‘how often should I watch a movie?’. With the intention of using psychedelics for healing or growth, there still isn’t a set answer. For many people, it seems like once or twice a year is enough to gain valuable insights and allow time in between to integrate the lessons. For others, a more frequent pattern may be most beneficial. I’ve also heard of people saying that once in their lifetime was enough.

Frequency varies depending on culture

There is a variety of frequencies in different cultures and types of use around the world. This ranges from modern clinical use to more traditional shamanistic use.

Within the field of modern research and clinical trials, there is variation. In a study with people who suffered treatment resistant depression at Imperial College London, participants received two doses a week apart. From just two doses, most participants saw statistically significant improvement in their wellbeing. That said, many patients saw depressive symptoms beginning to return after six months, so it seems they could’ve benefitted from another session or two around this mark.

In various smoking cessation studies at Johns Hopkins University there have been between one and three doses given. People have successfully quit with one session, whilst others had three. It is noteable that quit rates were higher for people who had more than one than one session.

With shaman of various Amazonian traditions, people drink ayahuasca on multiple consecutive nights, or on alternating nights. So it might be three or four nights of drinking ayahuasca in a row, or six nights of drinking over twelve nights total. There are also variations between. In some religious communities or churches that use psychedelic plants, groups drink monthly or weekly.

Philosophy professor Christopher Bache did 73 high dose sessions over 20 years, and as far as I know, no one in the psychedelic community has said it’s too much. In fact, he is seen by many as a courageous explorer and his work an incredible contribution to the field. He is a special case and was extremely conscientious in his use, I should add.

This variety shows that there is not really any standard which could be said ‘this is the right way’.

Can you take psychedelics too often?

When I would say taking psychedelics is too much is, the same as any other activity, when it starts interfering with one’s life in a negative way. When the downsides outweigh the upsides.

Gabor Mate’s view of an addiction can be useful here:

A behaviour which provides temporary pleasure or relief in the short term but has negative outcomes in the long term.

For some, psychedelics might be used as an escape from reality, or to avoid dealing with one’s problems. This can be known as spiritual bypassing. If one is re-entering journey space before or instead of integrating the lessons from the last journey, this could be seen as too soon.

However, I’d say that one’s problems can be shoved back in one’s face on a journey, so it’s not always an easy escape. In fact, for that reason, not taking psychedelics could be seen as an escape.

Is there a minimum frequency?

No one can say that someone should be taking psychedelics at least x amount of times per month or year. Although with medicalisation on the way, perhaps doctors or pharmacists will in fact be prescribing them in this way.

‘Go for three psilocybin journeys per month over the next 12 months and then we’ll meet back and reassess your treatment plan. If you feel you need a recalibration of your dose just give me a call and we’ll set up another consultation.”

I can see it already. But anyway, I digress.

Psychedelics can show us things that we are afraid to see and therefore unconsciously avoiding. Avoidance is no long term tactic to resolution, so for those that psychedelics have shown to be a useful tool for inner exploration and therapeutic shadow work, then there could be cases where it could be argued that someone should take them more often than they currently are.

The best amount and frequency is one that will bring the most healing over the long term. Knowing exactly what that is is difficult. We like to have answers or steady plans we can follow, but in the case of psychedelics, it can’t be pinned down as such. It needs our own continued consideration and adjustment, as well as our honesty. It also depends on the doses we are taking.

When should I pick up the phone again?

You’ve probably heard the Alan Watts quote, ’When you get the message, hang up the phone’. This has been commonly interpreted to mean ‘don’t trip too often’. Once you have some useful information, act on it before seeking more. What I would add to that is, feel free to pick up the phone again to get a reminder of the message.

Oftentimes a psychedelic journey will make absolutely clear an insight to be acted on. Good progress can be made on integrating that insight in the weeks directly after whilst the insight is fresh. As time passes, however, the clarity and raw obviousness of that insight may fade. And though the insight may not have been 100% integrated yet, touching back in with ourselves on a journey can be a refreshing reminder. If meaningful change has been made, space will have been cleared in our psyche for other useful messages, insights, and ideas to pour in. Integration is a life long journey and our lives are imperfect, so aiming to have integration of an experience totally complete before journeying again can be unrealistic.

The common interpretation of Watts’ quote also doesn’t consider the question of what ‘the message’ is, or if there are different levels of understanding the message. Or even, if there are multiple messages to be received.

Final Thoughts

I see the advice that ‘one should not journey too often’ commonly put out there, yet most of the people I know in the psychedelic community have ample experience and have journeyed dozens of times themselves.

In general I think there are many people could stand to benefit from more psychedelics sessions, rather than fewer. This is almost something of a faux-pas to say these days, but it’s what I believe, so I’m saying it. That is why the thoughts I have shared here have leaned towards illustrating this viewpoint, and not going into the dangers of overuse, which of course absolutely do exist. I should also make clear that I am talking about respectful, intentional, and careful use, done with the intention of learning or growth. And also that if insights are revealed, one should invest ample time and energy in to integrating them as best they can.

If we consider psychedelics to be teachers that allow us to access wisdom, what is wrong with visiting that teacher? Sure, you do not want to spend your whole life with that teacher, never stepping out of the classroom to practice your lessons. But likewise, you’d want to attend lessons to make the most of the wisdom they have to offer.

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This post was day 20 of PSYJuly 2021.

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journal psychedelic
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My Psychedelic Journaling Practices

When I first started using psychedelics, I used to always make sure that I had a pen and paper handy during my sessions. I did this so I could make notes during the experience, as there would nearly always be thoughts that popped up that seemed crucially important to write down and remember.

Since I started doing more formal, psychedelic therapy style sessions, however, I’ve made it something of a rule to not write anything down during the trip itself. I may take some notes after the peak, but generally the session day is for experience, not for journaling. That day is for me to be in the experience, not to analyse or take notes on it.

In terms insights, I’ve found that the most important stuff sticks, and I’ll revisit and capture the next day.

Journaling on integration day

Thought I don’t write during the session day, I journal a lot after the experience.

The day after I will put on the playlist that I used and listen to it again from start to finish. Getting as close to the session format as possible, I will also wear my eye mask and headphones again, with the mask slid above my eyes. Listening to the music helps to bring back memories from the trip.  The other details also help to recreate the context of the experience which helps to retrieve the memories in as much detail as possible.

I will then sit or lie down with pen and paper. As I listen to the music, I journal freely about the experience. I follow a directive I found in one of the research studies on psilocybin done at Johns Hopkins, to write up an ‘open-ended narrative of the experience’. The write up might include feelings, thoughts, or realizations. Whatever comes back up, I journal about it.

Psychedelic explorer Christopher Bache has written about how he did this the day after each of his sessions too. His integration process was so meticulous that he would listen to each track on the playlist on repeat, until he felt he had captured the essence of what he experienced during that piece. Admittedly, I don’t quite go that far. Once through the entire playlist is already 5 hours journaling, and I spread this over the course of a day, breaking it up with walks outside and meals.

Whilst journaling, I also identify key themes from the experience. These keywords may look like: health, gratitude, listening, providing. Though those may look obvious or trite, each word will be infused with my own personal meaning from the session, and having them neatly identified in keywords can help to quickly touch base with the essence of the experience. I’ve found this is useful for longer term integration, or setting integration intentions.

Journaling as preparation

Journaling can also act as a useful preparation exercise. An empty page is a good and private place to dump thoughts and feelings and can be a good way to explore what’s on your mind. Writing thoughts and feelings can help to have some kind of detachment from them and having them on a piece of paper in front of you helps to externalize them. This can help to bring about new perspectives.

Journaling on lower doses 

This could be thought of as something like crossing journaling with a psycholytic approach. Here the pad acts as the therapist. This is something I use with the non classic psychedelics MDMA and ketamine. With these I always journal any personal things that come up, invariably at the beginning of the session. This might be about some tension or a problem I’m experiencing in a relationship. I will journal, going with the flow of what arises. This may take the form of simply writing thoughts or feelings down, or it may take the form of writing a letter to someone, writing down things that I would like to say to them. 

In my review after the session, I will decide if it’s actually something that I should send or say to them, or if its something that I need to look more into myself before taking any action. Sometimes getting clarity through writing is enough.

Audio journaling

Another way of doing journaling is audio journaling. You can open a voice memo app or use some other audio recording device and freely speak out loud. Here, the audio device is the therapist. This can also be a great way to give voice and expression to your inner world with tone and texture.

If you are experiencing frustration or anger with someone you might press record on the voice memo app and just dump all your stuff as if you were speaking to the person. This can help to really tap into your feelings and to allow them expression in a way where no one has to be on the receiving end. It can provide some relief and also help to clarify your truest feelings that you may have been afraid to actually express. 

If you would like written notes on your vocalisations, you can also get a digital tool to transcribe for you. I often talk directly into google docs and have the little google robot wizard type up what I’m saying as I go. I even wrote the first draft of this article by talking into my phone 😉 

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To sum up, journaling can be a great accomplice to psychedelic work, at all stages: before, during and after. For preparation, navigation, and integration. I encourage you to give it a go and find what works for you.

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setting psychedelic intentions
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Setting Intentions for Psychedelic Sessions

Setting an intention is something every serious psychonaut does as part of their session preparation. The process of creating and setting intentions not only helps to gain clarity on our motivations, but also allows us to take an active part in setting course for the journey ahead. But how to set an intention? And how specific should one be?

Keeping an Open Intention

What we think might be the highest priority when we’re heading into ceremony might not be what is truly needed for us to work on. The depths of the unconscious that emerge in the session reveal to us what really needs to be addressed. These inner depths are known as our inner healing wisdom. Each and every one of us holds this within us.

What needs to come up will come up. Leaning into that trust is an important part of psychedelic work. 

Having thoughts like “this isn’t what I’m supposed to be thinking about” or “this session was not supposed to be about this, I wanted to work on x” are counterproductive. This is resisting the experience. This is not allowing, not being open, not letting go. It isn’t dropping into the flow of experience. It isn’t trusting our inner healer.

“Consider that it may be happening for an important reason.”
– The Zendo project, on difficult experiences

Holding a more general and open intention allows space for a wider spectrum of experience to be fully embraced. It allows for a greater flexibility and a wider range of interpretation. 

Sometimes the meaning of the content will be clear and obvious. Other times it is less straightforward. It can also be downright confusing. Unpacking and integrating afterwards is especially necessary for more opaque experiences.

Crafting An Intention

The process of creating an intention can be broken down into 3 steps:

  1. Start with your honest why

To start, we can simply ask:
‘Why am I doing this?’

The simple act of taking a moment to answer this will reveal basic motivations.

Try not to pass any judgement on the answer that comes up. All is valid.

If the answer that comes up seems shallow, overly specific, or otherwise inappropriate, this is the opportunity to change course or reframe. This might be a process of refining the motivation, or just looking at it from a different angle.

Other useful questions to help formulate an intention are:

  • Why are you doing this?
  • What are you looking for?
  • What is working in your life? What isn’t? What would you like to change?
  • What are you curious about?
  • What would you like to learn about?
  • What would you like to understand more?

These questions can then be followed up with ‘why?’, until you reach a satisfactory point.

2. Use further whys to dig deeper

Maybe your intention is looking at a specific problem or area of your life where you would like some answers. When we start the process, it can be as specific as we like; continually asking more whys helps us get us to the root of it. The process here is digging deeper. Doing this, we uncover motivations that sound more and more general. 

3. Refine into a single, simple sentence

Once we have dug deeper, we can collate and distill our answers to form a single pithy line.

To illustrate, here is a rough walkthrough of a previous process of mine, when I was using psilocybin to quit smoking.

  1. Why am I doing this?

I want to quit smoking tobacco.

2. Why do I want to quit?

I am experiencing contradictory thoughts about my smoking habit. I feel guilty about smoking, but I still do it sometimes. There is a lack of clarity here. I want my mind to be clear. 

Quitting smoking is the #1 obvious thing I can do for my health. I enjoy leading a healthy lifestyle and place high value on my health. I want to be healthy. 

I’ve already quit twice in the past and the tobacco monster always finds a way to sneak his way back in. I’m tired of being on this merry go round and ending up back in a place where I’m doing something I don’t want to be doing. I experience a lack of self control and I feel ashamed of myself when I end up smoking in front of other people. I just want to be free from this addiction, once and for all.

3. Taking the key points from each of my reasons for wanting to quit, I ended up with my final intention:

‘I am clear, healthy and free’ 

My Experience

A few years ago when I was working at Myco Meditations psilocybin retreat in Jamaica, I remember a team member saying that he often heads into a session with the approach of: “show me what you got”. This is a casual way of putting it, but a general and open intention. 

To give a final personal example, my intention for my most recent session was: to listen and learn. Setting such a broad intention meant that there was no real way to fight the experience or not accept difficult parts when this was brought to mind. Whatever was going on, there would always be an opportunity for me to listen. This could be interpreted in many ways: redirecting my attention to the music, tuning in and ‘listening’ to my inner voice, listening to my body and the physical sensations I was experiencing. Including ‘to learn’ gave me a good reason why I should listen carefully. It helped me to hold and steady my focus at various points on the journey.

Intentions For Integration

Intentions can also be useful in the integration stage. After reflecting on the experience and identifying key themes, it can be worthwhile to set an intention for the next phase of life. This might be for the following days, weeks, or even months.

Some examples:

If you have realised you would like to be less guarded, you might make an intention to be more open.

If you have been keeping things to yourself; it might be to share more.

If you’ve been giving too much of yourself; to practice saying no.

If you take up a lot of space; to listen.

An intention might even be just for the day after. ‘Self care’ or something thereabouts is one I always use on the integration day directly after a session. This allows me to be kind to myself and prioritise self care, but also to do integration work such as journaling, as making that investment of energy when the experience is still fresh helps me to gain the most benefit from my session and therefore caring for my future self. 

These types of integration intentions help give us direction in our lives. Their looseness means they can be interpreted in a wide variety of ways and require us to use our intuition. They can be used as a compass for action in all kinds of situations throughout the days, weeks and months that make up our lives.

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john robertson psychonaut
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I am a Psychonaut

Hello. My name is John Robertson and I am a Psychonaut. 

john robertson psychonaut

A psychonaut is someone who uses psychedelic substances as tools of exploration. Exploration of the mind, of reality, of the universe. Like cosmonauts, psychonauts willingly enter into the unknown on a mission of discovery. We are explorers.

This year marks 10 years of being a psychonaut with my first psychedelic experience in late 2011. My use of psychedelics has evolved over time and so has my relationship with them. In the name of openness, today I’ll share what my current use looks like, including styles, intentions, substances, and frequency.

Psychedelic Therapy Style Method

I use psychedelics in many different ways but of the classic psychedelics my most common use is that of a psychedelic therapy style.

This means taking a medium to high dose in a comfortable and controlled indoor environment. I use headphones and an eye mask, while listening to a preselected playlist of music from start to finish. The headphones to immerse me in the experience, with the music acting as a type of guide, and the eye mask helps to keep my attention directed inwards.

I sometimes do this with friends but more often I do this alone. I find doing it alone really allows me to let go: I can express myself freely without worry of disturbing someone else. This might be sobbing, weeping, laughing, talking to myself out loud, groaning, grunting or making other animalistic or primal expressions. It may also be moving my body in some way like shaking, pacing around the room or even beating my chest. 

When working alone I have a set procedure that I follow and have built through practice. On the day, my ritual includes putting my phone on airplane mode, saying a prayer and giving thanks, and writing down my intention and saying it out loud before I consume the dose. I also close the ceremony by giving thanks and finally ringing a bell. It includes various preparation and integration practices, such as clearing in the days before, checking in with both of my parents, and journaling while listening to the playlist again on the day after the session.

I find this type of session to be the most useful thing I can do to gain access to the hidden realms of my psyche, to make the unconscious conscious, and to gain a better understanding and acceptance of myself. It helps to clarify things for me and I nearly always come out of a session with an extremely clear sense of where my heart wants to go and what I need to do next in my life.

I use this style of session as a tool for personal growth and view it as a foundational part of my spiritual practice.

These days I almost exclusively use psilocybin, though I have used LSD in the past and had great results. 

Exploring for Fun

I also use psychedelics in more casual ways and often with the express intention of having fun with friends. This may be inside, it could also be outside. The one thing that is consistent is that I like to be well prepared in terms of equipment, such as basics like having some food, drinks or snacks ready, and comfortable spaces to lie down with blankets. I also, like in the psychedelic therapy style, always write down all the doses I take and the times I take them. If I’m out or at a friends’ place, I will do this in my pocket notebook which I take everywhere with me.

I also like to give some thought to the types of things we might want to do beforehand, and may prepare things to entertain or amuse myself or the group with. These may be things to look at, things to touch, ponder, or experience. For example, music videos, wikipedia articles, or pieces of visual art.

When exploring for fun it is usually with LSD or 2C-B and sometimes combined with MDMA. Nitrous oxide has also often been in the mix in the past, but that is less common and more reserved for special occasions these days. Still, hitting a gas on a candy flip is something that I think every psychonaut should try once in their lives 😉

Between Fun and Therapeutic

Though I place the highest value on the classic psychedelics, I also use non-classic psychedelics such as MDMA and ketamine for having a comfortable exploration at home. This is usually a mixture of growth oriented introspective style work and a fun exploration of ideas or themes. I sometimes also mix in 2C-B for this type of session and have enjoyed trying different combinations of these three substances. I also like to experiment with different types of ratios in terms of dose and timing of doses, and sometimes also blend in some marijuana to mix it up and increase entropy in my streams of thoughts and experience.

For introspective style work, I do journaling to explore my thoughts and feelings. Generally the content is often about my relationships with others, things I’d like to do such as lifestyle changes or experiments, and ideas around creative and professional projects.

For the fun exploration of ideas or themes I will also explore with certain materials like music or art and journal about them.

I also like to do things which are a little more creatively ambitious which may extend over the course of multiple sessions to create a deeper exploration and expression. For example, during lockdown this year I explored the theme of ‘the Loner’ and loneliness. This is something I identify with and, living with two couples and not being allowed contact with anyone else for 2 months, this came up strongly for me. I explored it by creating a playlist of songs on the theme, reading the wikipedia pages of loneliness and solitude, and gave myself expression by writing and recording a punk song: ‘Loner’. It was awesome.

On more casual sessions like this I will also often just have an open free association brainstorm kind of thing just using pen and paper to externalise thoughts and ideas so I can see them and more easily make new connections.

Normally sessions will not be either therapeutic or fun, but a mix of both, always with the therapeutic and more challenging content coming up at the start of the session before giving way to a more relaxed tone and sense of agency about where I want to put my attention.

Psycholytic Style

I also do this type of fun/therapy session occasionally with a good friend of mine. We use ketamine as it is his preferred substance. Likewise, the first section of the session we generally do more therapeutically oriented work, and we will go for a more psycholytic style approach, using our conversation and interaction as a means to to dig in to and look closely at perceptions and feelings, question beliefs, reach deeper levels of understanding, and ultimately find some resolution with current issues in our lives. We also sometimes do role plays, acting out interactions with different people in our lives who we currently have tension with, and look at quotes from our favourite philosophers.

Music

I am a huge fan of music in general and just love listening to music on all psychedelic substances. I also occasionally like going to concerts and taking something. For example, a couple years ago, I went with some friends to see one of my faves Kurt Vile at the Kulturastrahaus and for the whole show just danced my little heart out down front. 

One of my more recent all time favorite life experiences was taking 2C-B with MDMA and seeing the-man-the-myth-the-legend, Ty Segall. Front row I got absolutely pounded in a tornado of thumping guitars that swept through the core of my being and left me mixed parts obliterated and exhilarated. Yeah, just awesome.

Nature Connection

Less often I take psychedelics out in nature so I guess I’m more of a city psychonaut. However, I think that is mostly due to the fact of psychedelics being illegal and my uncomfortable feelings of being outside and exposed in an uncontrolled environment. After all, psychedelics can and often do increase feelings of sensitivity and vulnerability. That is, however, something I would like to change because I would like to deepen my appreciation of the beauty of the natural world.

How often I take psychedelics

The frequency of my use really varies season-by-season and year-by-year. My practice and use, like life and myself, is a living, evolving thing. I do try to make time for psychedelic therapy style sessions at least a few times a year but there isn’t a set pattern that I stick to. Use of the non classics is more regular, even though I would say it is less beneficial. That is because my psychedelic therapy style sessions are a bigger deal, a 2-3 day affair, also with the added preparation time needed in the run up. They require more from me, in time and energy commitment, so it is harder to fit in. Still, I think I do a decent job.

For example, in 2019 I did around ten sessions with classic psychedelics, (about half in psychedelic therapy style), and ten-fifteen with non-classics. Last year, overall use increased with corona and I had around nine sessions with classics, and fifteen or so with non classics. So far in 2021, I have had two experiences with the classics, and a fair few of the non-classics to get me through a protracted lockdown.

I also sometimes microdose psilocybin or LSD but not often or with any kind of consistent frequency. 

My Name is John Robertson

Up until now I have written and worked under the name John Andrew. Andrew is my middle name and I first used this name before I was working in the psychedelic field.

At the time I had just finished a stint of three years as an English teacher and I was taking something of a sabbatical to travel. I was hoping to make it as a blogger but I wasn’t sure if at some point I would need to go back to teaching English or find some other kind of more conventional job to give myself another injection of cash that would enable to go on doing the types of projects that were closer to my heart.

I was worried about potential employers googling me and finding my blog writing about all my crazy and illegal psychedelic adventures and ultimately limiting my options and ability to work. It is kind of sad that I felt I had to hide such a huge part of what I see as a beautiful and core part of my identity but such was my predicament.

I used the name John Andrew for jobs such as workshops and public talks and continued to use it as I entered more deeply into the wider psychedelic network. When finally committing to full-time psychedelic work some years later I thought that it would be kind of fun to continue using what had become my pen and now psychedelic name. After all, having a pen name is kind of cool, and I also wanted to build on the name I’d started to establish.

By this point it was not that I was really hiding it from anyone that was important to me. I revealed my psychedelic side to both of my parents at the time of their separation. With everything that was going on I felt the need to reach a much deeper level of openness and honesty with both of them. I wanted them to really know their son. 

Initially my Dad was more accepting than my Mum and he was actually a huge support to me in the founding of the New Moon Psychedelic Retreat project which launched in 2019. He encouraged me to follow my heart and seeing that I had clarity on what I wanted to do, he pushed me to fully go for it. That is what I did and I committed myself to a project of a scope that I had never taken on before. I put a part of my heart and soul in to New Moon in a way that was a deeply meaningful and formative experience.

Since then it has then now come the point where people know me through my public psychedelic work and will actually call out to me as John Andrew. Or people closer to me know that my name is John Robertson, but they’ve also seen my name around as John Andrew and there is some kind of confusion. It’s not really that I was trying to keep those sides separate in recent years, it’s just that I had used that name for a while and just thought it would be more convenient to continue using it.

I now want to clear up this confusion and be called by my family name for my work. This is me taking one more step on my path of long term integration.

I am John Robertson.

And I fucking love psychedelics.

.

/by

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