Beyond Psychedelics 2018: Listening, Talking, Filming – Review Of A Psychedelic Forum in Prague

At the end of June I was at Beyond Psychedelics: a 4 day ‘global psychedelic forum’ in Prague. As well as catching talks and general mingling, I also gave a talk and filmed some short interviews for an online video series. Here I’ll give a brief and rambling account of this event, what I was doing there and some thoughts that it threw up.

Opening ceremony preparations

Beyond kicked off on the summer solstice and the extended daylight hours helped to keep energy levels up for the intensively packed days. This was the largest of the three psychedelic conventions/conferences I’ve been to (one . two) and felt somewhere between a conference and a festival; the days were filled with 4 tracks (stages) of lectures, talks, workshops and panel debates, and the evenings had music, film screenings, and camp fires. Psychonauts, professionals, and enthusiasts milled around discussing talks and topics, sharing experiences and projects, exchanging contacts, and setting things up – it really seemed like a breeding ground for collaboration and I’m sure a few projects were birthed at Beyond. There was also some clearly non-theoretical exploration of substances *ahem*.

Giving A Talk

I gave a talk at Beyond (watch it here) and it was my first time doing public speaking. Honestly, I was nervous as shit. The whole process, from thinking about submitting an abstract (brief, talk submission) to finishing my talk and stepping off the stage, was spread over a few months and was a new and absolutely rewarding experience. The steps went something like this: see a call for abstracts on the Beyond website, think ‘maybe I should do that’, google how to write an abstract, write and submit one, get accepted (both excitement and nervousness here), prepare the slides, practice the talk, and booyah, I’m going to give my first talk at a conference (… more nervousness here). I gave the talk, titled Honesty & Psychedelics: Acknowledging The Sham Shamans, to a fairly full tent on the first day and I’d say it went OK for a first time. I’ll write more about the whole process and a written version of the talk in separate posts.

beyond psychedelics chapiteau prague 2018

Another talk in the chapiteau

Mixed Crowd

Beyond had speakers from an impressively wide range of disciplines; scientists to shamans and artists to academics – it seems nothing is beyond psychedelics- and this brought out a similarly wide mix of people. This diversity was intentional, with organisers aiming to encourage discussion and facilitate an exchange of ideas and information from different fields. The mix made for a nice melting pot of perspectives and great conversations in the panel debates and also generally with people around.

There was a gently buzzing atmosphere about the event – I’m not the only one who gets excited about a topic as broad and mind-bending as psychedelics – the buzz stoked by the knowledge that we’re going through major and accelerating shifts in the world, and I believe that this group, subculture, community – whatever it is – are on one of the most significant frontiers of change.

Psychedelics Have A Role To Play

With serious research back underway, psychedelics are starting to re-enter the mainstream through psychology and neuroscience, but the ripples from this will have far reaching cultural and philosophical implications across individual, societal and global levels – from how we organise ourselves as a species on our technologically connected global brain that is the planet, to our fundamental understanding of the universe and place in it. Things are changing increasingly rapidly through all kinds of technologies, emerging: tech, AI, VR, blockchain/crypto; and the lost but re-emerging: psychedelics.

“In one of my early books I suggested that the potential significance of LSD and other psychedelics for psychiatry and psychology was comparable to the value the microscope has for biology or the telescope has for astronomy. My later experience with psychedelics only confirmed this initial impression.”
– Stanislav Grof

The Psychedelic Golden Age Is Now

A slide from Ben Sessa’s talk

People look at the sixties as the golden age of psychedelic use and research but in an inspiring talk about MDMA therapy, Dr. Ben Sessa pointed out that today there is both more research going on and more people taking psychedelics than back in the sixties; today is a true psychedelic renaissance. Wrapping up, Sessa addressed the younger generation in the audience who are thinking of working in the field and might have been told by tutors or others that it is career suicide. He said that the naysayers who think this is woo-woo stuff need to open their minds:

“This is not hippie stuff, this is not some fringe thing, this is mainstream medicine, this is cutting edge neuroscience, every major teaching and neuro academic institution around the world are looking at psychedelic programmes nowadays: Yale, Harvard, NYU, UCL, UCLA Johns Hopkins, Imperial College London […] and we’re getting monthly papers published in mainstream journals like The Lancet, BMJ, British Journal of Psychiatry, BAP […]”

The institutions and journals with psychedelic research – another slide from Sessa’s talk

The scientific credibility of such institutions and their research will surely help to overcome one of the biggest challenges for the movement: the social stigma. And though the science is obviously important, often the most moving and intriguing parts of researchers presentations are quotes from participants about their experiences. The stats and charts provide the logos, but its people’s stories which deliver the pathos. This humanizes the topic and speaks to people on an emotional level. Which brings me nicely to the videos I was filming there….

Breaking The Stigma: Fun Psychedelic Interviews

I was volunteering at Beyond filming a video series of short interviews. The aim of the series is to help humanise the topic and break the stigma by getting people in the movement to speak about psychedelics and their experiences in a relaxed and fun way, with hopes that this will encourage other people to too. My interviewees included MAPS man Rick Doblin, occultist Julian Vayne, the UK psychedelic society’s Stefana Bosse, and grassroots researcher Darren Le Barron. Some of the questions included:

Weirdest thing to ever happen during a trip?
If you could only ever trip with one person again, who would it be?
Which one person or group of people in the world having a psychedelic experience do you think would have the greatest benefit on humanity
Favourite things to do whilst tripping?
Psychedelic that has had the largest impact on your life?
If you could only ever take one psychedelic again, which one would it be?
This is actually some other people doing a video interview – a lot of press there

I’d had the idea for this sitting around for a while and seeing Beyond as a perfect opportunity to get a bunch of these, I emailed the organisers to see if I could do it there and release the videos through their channels. They liked the idea so I filmed a bunch, and they’ll start going up on the Beyond Psychedelics channels soon (I’ll link them here when they’re up). This was fun and something I’d like to continue so if you’d be open to speaking about your psychedelic experiences on film, let me know and I’ll interview you at some event or if we find ourselves in the same city.

I’ll summarise here briefly by stating that Beyond was a highlight of my year so far. To wrap up and give an idea of the variety of the talks, here’s a brief overview of my favourites – some by quote, some by picture, some I’ve written about. More info on talks can be found on the Beyond site.

Challenges To The Mainstreaming of Psychedelics In The 21st Century
– Rick Doblin .

“We’re at the stage where we can envision the mainstreaming of psychedelics and we can see drug policy changing across the world, it’s also very possible for us to screw up and snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

“This is my favourite quote: ‘there’s many a slip twixt the cup and the lip’. You think that you’re right about to succeed and that’s when people get over confident and make mistakes because they’re not paying attention. We need to talk with each other, critically and think about how we can move forward carefully. Where we are at this stage is this incredible renaissance of psychedelic research, even in therapeutic applications there is more research now than at any time in the last 50 years, that the doors are opening at regulatory agencies all over the world.

“The key thing here is that we need to build bridges not burn them. One of the ways in which we build bridges is look at where support comes from […] We have to reach out to people on the other side of the political divide and built bi-partisan support and recognise that it’s a two way communication. […] So I think it’s so important if we are going to mainstream psychedelics that we build these bridges.”

Charging for Ceremony: Polemics Around Money In Shamanism
– Jerónimo Mazarrasa .

Should people be charging money for ceremony? Is work with entheogens too sacred to be dirtied with money? Good question, heavily disputed. Jeronimo gave a range of examples of different practices and perspectives on this. A couple of examples:

Medicine should not cost money; it should be accessible to all. By putting a price tag on it you are restricting access to certain people. You should keep your financial stability separate from your work with medicines. If you need money to survive, stop working with the medicines and find your income elsewhere.
You’ve spent years learning and training and it’s fair that you are reimbursed for your time and energy. Getting paid is important for you to work to the best of your ability as it allows you to remove other distractions such as working a day job.

Jeronimo didn’t offer any ‘right’ answer but did suggest something that might be useful – transparency. He gave the example of a magazine which in every issue, listed all of its expenses – from the costs of the cleaners for the office to the rental space to the writers – so the readers could see exactly where their money was going. I really like this idea, indeed I believe there should be more transparency in our world – especially around money and politics. My mum always talked about a politician she liked because he would always publicly publish his expenses list – there is no room for scandal and outrage when there is total transparency.

Jerónimo Mazarrasa shamanism polemics money for ceremony beyond psychedelics prague

Jerónimo with an example of transparency – a magazine that published all its expenses

Transparency doesn’t get to the issue of accessibility though, and if access to the medicine relies on finances, the people who arguably need it the most, won’t be able to get it.

This could be solved if these substances were available as part of a publicly funded service – a national health service. Or simple legalisation would allow people to cultivate and pick their own.

Until legalisation I think we should look to scholarship and sponsorship programs to enable people with low income access. Something like the vipassana model – which is totally donation based and all workers are volunteers – might also be something worth looking at.

View Jeronimo’s talk here

Sacred +
– Vincent Moon

I got excited when I saw Vincent Moon’s name on the lineup for Beyond. Moon is a French filmmaker whose work usually involves musical groups or musicians and was a source of great inspiration and distraction during my time as a media student when I used to devour music documentaries and music videos. As part of the pre-conference event week, I saw his latest film project: Sacred + : a live mixed cross cultural film centred around the sacred, using footage he’s collected of rituals around the world over the last few years. Watching at a cinema in the centre of Prague, I remembered exactly why I was obsessed with his work, and stepping out of the screening felt inspired again for film work. The next day I bumped into him in the queue for wristbands and we got chatting, I told him how his work both helped and hindered me to which he apologised with a smile. And he also gave me his business card – not gonna try to be cool here; Vincent Moon gave me his business card – that was pretty awesome.

Child Abuse, Trauma, MDMA Therapy and The Future of Medicine
– Ben Sessa

In a brilliant and passionate talk, Sessa gave an outline of the use and efficacy of MDMA as a tool for trauma psychotherapy.

In the end, he brought back home the importance of the work and reminded us that these substances can be used to help those desperately in need of it: those that the current system victimizes and treats as scourge who live on the street. They should not be victimised but helped, and psychedelics are some of the most powerful tools we have to do that.

Psychedelic Philosophy

The talks were split into blocks based on themes and this 90 min block composed of 4 talks was probably my favourite of the whole thing, definitely could’ve been longer.

1. Philosopher of mind Peter Sjöstedt-H spoke on the British inventor and ‘chemical philosopher’ Humphry Davy’s use of nitrous oxide…

“I have often felt very great pleasure when breathing it alone, in darkness and silence, occupied only by ideal existence.”
– Humphry Davy

2. Reanne Crane on favourite psychedelic author Aldous Huxley, using his work to explore how psychedelic integration depends on the narratives with which we frame our experiences – there are events, and then there are the stories we tell ourselves about them. Crane ended by celebrating a relatively unsung Huxley – Laura Huxley – and her work You Are Not The Target: A Practical Manual of How to Cope with a World of Bewildering Change, a ‘classic integration text’, a welcome addition to my to-read list.

3. Anna Freudenthaler looking at psychedelic states using Freudian concepts – full written version can be found on her blog here.

4. Johanna Hilla on Carl Jung and how in his Red Book he portrays altered states of consciousness as meaningful and transformative, with a look at the claims arguing that the true intention of Jung was to construct his own religious worldview.

The Art Of Creating Musical Playlists For Psychedelic Work
– Matthew Baldwin

matthew baldwin psychedelic music playlists therapy psilocybin beyond prague presentations

In the attic

Super interesting topic – music can play such a huge role in a psychedelic experience and knowing how to manipulate this variable is huge. OK I’m outta steam and done writing so let’s finish with some slides and pics:

Still here? Here are a few more pictures…

14/08/2018/by John Robertson

Guides, Preparation, Psychedelics

Explorer’s Guide: Using Psychedelics For Peak Experiences

Mystical. Peak. Transcendent. Religious. Whichever term you’ve heard, I’m talking about something exceptional and profound – the type of experience that ranks as one of most the meaningful in life.

“The emotional reaction in the peak experience has a special flavor of wonder, of awe, of reverence, of humility and surrender before the experience as before something great.”
– Abraham Maslow

Psychologist Abraham Maslow believed that peak experiences are characteristic of psychological health and play an important role in self-actualization – right at the top of his famous hierarchy. These experiences are typically spiritual in nature and are often followed by therapeutic after effects or dramatic personal growth.

Planning A Mystical Experience

Psychedelics, AKA entheogens – ancient Greek for ‘generating the divine within’ – can facilitate mystical experiences more reliably than any other currently known method (seeing the earth from space also seems fairly reliable but this is currently even less accessible than psychedelics). There is recent research to support this relationship, though it should be remembered that these trials are done in highly controlled settings – and I believe a methodological approach helps to increase the chances of such an experience.

So this is a guide to set you up for a soul-stirring, therapeutic, sacred, self-actualizing trip. Its a compilation drawn from my own experience and practices drawn from a few sources. You can find a list at the end.

This guide includes:

Preparation: Checklist + Weeks and Days Before
Navigation: What to do during the trip, and in difficult moments
Integration: What to do the day after, how to begin to integrate insights

Dosage

The smaller the dose, the less likely a mystical experience. Psychedelic research has shown a clear correlation between a larger dose and a more complete mystical experience. They also found that the more complete the mystical experience, the more benefit the recipient had to their psychological wellbeing (on scores of depression and anxiety). However, if you don’t have much experience with psychedelics I don’t recommend going for a big dose for your first time. Better to become somewhat familiar with them and figure out your tolerance and reaction.
For most people a breakthrough dose will be:

4-6 grams dried mushrooms
20-55 grams fresh psilocybin truffles
200-300 micrograms LSD

Check Erowid for peyote and San Pedro.

Preparation

There are two general aims for the preparation of your trip:
1. To have you approach the trip well rested, in good health, and with a positive state of mind.
2. To get you thinking about your life in a larger context.

Checklist

You will need:

2 full days free. One day for the trip + the day after. The day before too, if possible. For the trip day you should be totally free and fine to switch your phone off and effectively disappear from the world.
A comfortable, private indoor space (totally private for 1 day). Somewhere you feel safe.
Device to play music e.g. ipod, laptop, CD player. (I recommend digital player for ease of use)
Good pair of headphones
Eye mask or blindfold
Photos for ‘picture trip’

The Picture Trip

[The ‘picture trip’ is a technique that was employed by a pioneer of psychedelic therapy, Leo Zeff. This is adapted from the book about Leo and his methods, The Secret Chief Revealed.]

Before the trip you will need to gather some photos. These photos will be a history of your life.

Pictures To Gather:

Yourself, one at age two and one every two years thereafter through adolescence, up to adulthood.
Two pictures each of your mother, father and any siblings; one when they were young but you can still remember them, and a recent one.
Pictures of any other family members that are or were significant in your life.
A picture of your husband/wife, or any woman or man who has had great significance in your life. Lovers, current or past. If you’re married, wedding pictures.
If you have children, a picture of them when they were about two years old, and a recent one.
Any other significant pictures. Any pictures with an emotional charge.

As you go through your photos to find these, spend some time looking through your photo collection. Spend a few moments with each photo, looking at it and seeing what you feel with each one. If any memories or feelings come up, sit with them and see where they go. When you come across a picture for the picture trip, put it aside. Try to do this no further away than a week before the trip, as close to the time of the trip as you can.

The Sitter

Decide if you want a sitter – someone to keep an eye on you and help you through any difficult periods should they arise. It might be easier to let go completely if you know you have someone there to take care of you, or you may prefer to be alone.

Research setting for a study into the effects of psilocybin at John Hopkins University.

If you decide on a sitter, choose someone you trust. Agree the date with that person ahead of time. You’ll only need them for the trip day, but they should be free from the time you begin until the end of the day. They might not have to do much but assure you of your safety and be there for you.

If for whatever reason you’re going ahead without a sitter, I’d recommend spending more time learning the basics of meditation.

The Weeks Before

Learn the basics in meditation

The ability to relax and let go is key when it comes to the more intense parts of the session and important in maximizing the therapeutic aspect of your trip. For this reason, having some familiarity with some basic techniques of meditation will be enormously helpful – its practice in how to calmly observe your current reality without resistance. It will help you to open yourself to the experience rather than resisting, and go deeper, moving past blocks.

Meditate for at least 10 minutes a day for the two weeks leading up to your trip.

Especially important if you don’t have a sitter as in the absence of someone else to help relax and reassure you, you’ll need to relax yourself. If you have the time and the inclination, a silent course is the best way become well versed with meditation quickly.

Otherwise a good place to start is the free app Insight. There are also other apps and plenty of guided meditation resources online.

Think About Your Intentions

Why are you doing this? What do you hope to accomplish or gain from the experience? Be honest with yourself. Having a clear intention doesn’t mean that it’ll be fulfilled but it’s important in framing the experience.

Keep a Gratitude Journal

Write down 5 things you are grateful for everyday in the week leading up to your trip. It can be as small or profound as you like, from ‘nice weather today’ or ‘a delicious lunch’ to ‘family’ or ‘health’. Sit with the feeling of gratitude that it brings for a minute.

Check medication

If you’re taking medication, make sure there are no possible adverse interactions with these medications and the substance you’re taking. If you’re taking medication for a something that can be managed by lifestyle changes – exercise, weight loss, diet adjustments, quitting alcohol, tobacco, caffeine – try these first to see if some of the medications may no longer be necessary. For these processes, see your doctor.

The Days Before

Prepare your playlist and music player

Generally it’s recommended to use instrumental or world music with lyrics that are unintelligible as understandable lyrics can be distracting and limit the experience. Ambient and classical music are good general recommendations. You can make a playlist for the whole trip, or you can have all songs and albums that you might want ready and easily accessible on your player. Be sure to have at least 8 hours of music ready and allow for passages of at least 45 minutes where you don’t need to change or put on more music.

Listening to relaxing music in the initial phase is a nice way to help calm yourself when the substance is taking effect and you’re coming up. Save more intense tracks for later.

Links for ideas:
How To Pick Music For People On LSD, From A Scientist Whose Job That Is
Sacred Knowledge: Hopkins Playlist For Psilocybin Studies

Full playlists from the scientists working in psychedelic research:
Mendel’s Kaelen’s Psilocybin Playlists on Spotify: Therapy Playlist 1 | Playlist 2
Mendel Kaelen Psilocybin playlist 1 on Mixcloud
Bill Richards psilocybin playlist | Spotify | iTunes
Kelan Thomas psilocybin playlists on Spotify: Playlist 1 | Playlist 2

Tidy up loose ends

Pay the overdue bill, send those emails and make those phone calls you’ve been putting off.

Check in with loved ones

Call or go see those most important to you.

The Day Before

Prepare Food
Get some snacks ready. Nuts, seeds and fruits are good as maintaining a steady blood sugar level is ideal. Prepare your dinner and have it waiting for you in the fridge. Simplicity for tomorrow is the aim here.

Walk in Nature
The fresh air and nature will help clear your mind.

Understand Your Intentions
Revisit and clarify your intentions.

Avoid alcohol and spicy or greasy food
To ensure good quality sleep and a settled stomach the next day. You don’t want to be dealing with a dodgy belly on the big day.

Clean your space
Hoover, wipe down surfaces, clear away clutter.

Go to bed early and allow yourself a good nights rest
Follow the common advice for a good night’s sleep – don’t drink coffee late, have a digital sunset. If you usually have difficulty sleeping, consider some form of exercise earlier in the day.

The Trip Day

Switch your phone off. For all purposes you should be unavailable to the world.

Pre-trip
Have a light, healthy breakfast. Oats or a green smoothie are both good options.

Wear comfortable, clean, and loose fitting clothes. Make any final preparations to your space. Have blankets, water and snacks on hand.

Drop Ceremony
‘Ceremony’ doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, just make the taking of the substance special in some way. You could wash it down with water drank from a lucky cup, or say a short prayer beforehand. Something to set this experience apart from the everyday. Make it unique.

Meditate – 10-20 minutes.

Waiting
If you are with a sitter, talk with them about your feelings, expectations, and hesitations. If you are alone, take a pad and paper and write them down.

Going Up
When you start to feel the effects, lie down and get comfortable. Put your headphones and eye mask on and start your playlist. Listen to the music and relax.

When you notice yourself tightening up or feeling nervous, relax your body and pay attention to your breath. Use what you’ve learned in meditation.

‘We regain our balance through the proper application of attention and awareness. This is the slowing down, which we can facilitate physically through relaxed, deep breathing and helps release any tension in our bodies. Once we’ve slowed ourselves down and replanted our psychic feet, it is easier to move our consciousness through the resistance or block.’
– Preparation For The Journey; Inner Pathways To Outer Space

The Trip

The peak of the trip is where you might go through the processes by which psychological healing occurs – projection, transference, abreaction, and catharsis. To do this, be open to the experience:

Trust. Let go. Be open. Breathe. Surrender.

You may experience challenging emotions but know that this isn’t bad – this is the chance to process something you might’ve been holding back.

“Remember, difficult is not bad – challenging experiences can wind up being our most valuable, and may lead to learning and growth. Consider that it may be happening for an important reason. Try to approach the fear and difficult aspects of your experience with curiosity and openness.”
– Zendo Project

Coming Down

As you feel the effects start to subside and the peak tailing off. Go sit at a table with the photos.

Picture Trip

Start with the pictures of yourself. Pick up the first picture. Just look at it and see what you experience. Look at it as long as you want to. When you’re through looking at it, put it down. If you are with a sitter you might have something to say. Say it. If not, you don’t have to say anything. Put it down and go on to the next picture.

Through this process you might record a voice memo or write some things down. These notes can be helpful later when you go back and revisit them. They will reconnect you with your whole experience.

Ending The Day

After you’ve gone through the pictures, relax. You might want to sit around and chat with your sitter or listen to some music. You might be hungry and can go and retrieve the food you’ve prepared. You might want to go for a walk outside. Perhaps you’re exhausted and ready for bed. Go, sleep well.

The Day After

This day should be left free. Leave plenty of time for recovery, reflection and integration. Take It Easy.

Sleep well. Lie in. Have a nice breakfast. Meditate. Chill. Go for a walk or listen to some music. Take some time for yourself. Do not rush back into chores or your daily routine, no matter how tempting it is or how pressing those concerns seem to be. They can wait. The return to familiarity might seem appealing but you should have time to relax and process your experience.

When you feel ready…

Write It Down

Take a pen and paper and write about your trip.

What did you experience? (You may prefer to draw or paint this)
What does it mean?
Did you learn anything?
Did you experience any insights or revelations?

Hopefully you were able to learn something of value that you can take with you and apply to your life. With any insights fresh in your mind, you can start to…

Look Forward

How can you apply them to your life?
What can you do to live what you’ve learnt?

Try to think of some actionable steps you can take. Making a plan can be helpful to implement a new attitude or lifestyle change you want to adopt. Whatever it is you need to do, write it down and make a commitment to follow through with it. It doesn’t have to be big or extensive, any kind of framework to help you move forward is good. Starting a course of change can be tough but a plan with small steps will help. When you want to be reconnected to your experience, revisit any notes or voice memos you’ve made. Don’t expect total transformation overnight, go bit by bit.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”
– Lao Tzu

I hope you’re ready for the next chapter. The real trip starts now – it’s life.

In the weeks and months following a powerful experience it may be beneficial to have some people you can talk about your experience with. If that’s not possible with people already in your life, it might be useful to find a local psychedelic integration circle or community. I wish you the best of luck.

References & Resources:

Books:
– The Secret Chief Revealed – Myron J. Stolarof
– Inner Paths To Outer Space – Rick Strassman et al. (Chapter: Preparation For The Journey)
– The Psychedelic Explorer’s Guide: Safe, Therapeutic & Sacred Journeys – James Fadiman

Online:
– How To Have A Mystical Experience: A Research Based Guide – Freedom & Fulfilment
– The Zendo Project

Finding Psychedelic Community:
Psychedelic.Community
3 Ways You Can Engage With Psychedelic Community – The Third Wave

17/04/2018/by John Robertson

jamaica mycomeditations sea landscape shrooms

Blog, Experience Reports, Psychedelics, Travel

Mycological Magic In Jamaica: Psychedelic Development & Essential Inspiration

At the end of last year I went to Jamaica to work at a psychedelic specialists psilocybin mushroom retreat. In case you’re wondering if you read that right, I’ll repeat. Psychedelic specialists. Magic mushroom retreat. In Jamaica. Yes, I know. My life sucks.

Put on by Myco Meditations, the 10-day retreat was on the south coast of the island and had plenty going on outside of the 4 psilocybin sessions – there were group activities like art integration and guided meditations, presentations on psilocybin and session prep, and optional day trips to local areas. Comedian Shane Mauss did some of his ‘A Good Trip’ standup on psychedelics and a talk on DMT, and psilocybin researcher Katherine Maclean gave talks and acted as a facilitator for the sessions. Frankly speaking it was as awesome as it sounds and definitely a highlight of a what was personally an unpredictable roller coaster of a year.

How Did I End Up There?

A question I asked myself a few times. The short answer: by following my passions. The longer version is that I came across Myco Meditations online some time last year and after a brief email exchange with founder Eric Osborne we set up a skype call. Over the next couple of months we continued to connect and the next thing I know I’m booking a flight to Jamaica to film at the event.

eric myco meditations mycomeditations jamaica shrooms

Eric – a man who is happy whenever around mushrooms

Filming & Integration

I was there primarily to film some videos for the MycoMeds website and youtube and the filming interestingly merged into psychedelic integration, an emerging field I’m becoming increasingly interested in and one I think will develop rapidly in the coming years.

I sat down and did interviews with those on the retreat, asking them about their experience of it – the group dynamic, the facilitators, Jamaica – and more specifically their experiences during the psilocybin sessions. Doing these interviews was rewarding in itself and as people opened up I was reminded how important and powerful this work is. It really got me, and during one interview as someone talked to me about family troubles and how they’d come up in one of his high dose sessions, I was struck deeply with compassion. People were gaining new perspectives and the ability to see things in a more positive light. Good to know the mushies were working their magic.

The interviews gave me ideas for a type of video integration – where people can speak about their experiences and have the videos to help reconnect them to their experience and their new perspective, and continue to work with the insights they’ve gained. If you have any further ideas on how this might be developed, contact me.

Sitting

As well as filming I was also a sitter/facilitator for half of the sessions. Being entrusted in this role to be there for people during their psychedelic experiences is an absolute honour and privilege. Truly humbling. There is a lot to get into here and too much for this post so I’ll just say that sitting really is a skill and something which I learn more about with each experience – this was no different and I learned things which will inform my approach next time. Until then, my basic advice as a sitter to a tripper would be: if you encounter difficult emotions, relax, go towards and into them, and explore them with curiosity.

Let your guard down and walk naked into the fire.
(Metaphorically speaking. Please don’t actually walk into a fire.)

The Importance Of Vulnerability

The retreat made me realise that this willingness to vulnerability isn’t just important in the psychedelic experience – it’s important as a part of life. The group on this retreat bonded as the week progressed and conversations became deeper as we started opening up to each other more and more. I was reminded, yet again, that we’re all human and all have our troubles and struggles in life. Something that’s surprisingly easy to forget.

This is something that should be acknowledged because ignoring problems is never a good long term game plan. Whilst I don’t think it’s healthy to focus too heavily on problems – of course we should take time to count our blessings and enjoy life as it is – I do believe that the areas of our life we struggle with should be looked at honestly and strategically. If problems are left without inspection they may grow into a beast that is hard to even look at, let alone begin to decide how to take down. Naturally, looking at our problems isn’t comfortable, sharing them with others less so, and that’s exactly why it takes courage to be vulnerable. It seems natural to think of vulnerability as a weakness but the truth is the opposite. The ability to be vulnerable is a strength.

Having a group setting where you can sincerely share your problems is powerful. Talking about your problems or fears can give you the chance to say out loud things that have never been truly acknowledged. This can lead to a new understanding of your own feelings and opinions on things. Having someone patiently and sympathetically listen to you reinforces that its OK and normal to have problems and that we don’t need to hide from them. Once they are acknowledged then we can start to formulate a plan to tackle them. By talking with others we can receive support and advice on how to do this. If it is something out of our control, we can begin to learn acceptance.

The other side – hearing other people’s problems – is also helpful. We usually get so caught up in our own worlds that it’s easy to forget that everyone else is fighting their own battles too. But when someone is sat in front of you telling you they struggle with a difficult relationship, social anxiety, depression, direction in life, or whatever it is – you can’t ignore it. It shatters the facade of the world that deceives us through advertising – that everyone is supposed to be happy all the time – and hearing it directly from someone else gives you a very real reminder that you’re certainly not alone in your struggles. This can be empowering; a shared burden feels lighter and you can share with each other things that have helped you.

The Necessity Of Retreats

Most people don’t really take the time to properly reassess their position and direction. Too busy distracted. Or trying to earn or spend more money. Because apparently that’ll make us happy. But we know that really this isn’t true and instead of chasing the next hit of fleeting pleasure we should just stop for a second (or a week, or a month). We should take the time to see where we are and where we’re going, otherwise we’ll unwittingly end up somewhere we never wanted to be – ‘somewhere’ being the type of person we are and the life we’re living.

Retreats by their nature offer us that opportunity to stop, reflect, have those important conversations, and realign ourselves. They give us the distance from our normal lives that is needed to get some perspective, and after we can go back into the world with our priorities in order. Combine this with psychedelics and a deeper mental reset and you have a powerful combo. But even without psychedelics I think that making time for this type of self-assessment is important. This is my way of saying; take time for yourself where you can really look at your life without distractions. Find your own retreat or ‘workation’, however it might take shape, where the work isn’t job-related but is work on yourself. Then take an actual break after, because if you’ve been working hard, you’ll need it!

Final Trip, 7.5g

Back to Jamaica, I figure I’ll finish where we did – the fourth and final trip. After facilitating for the second and third, I took part in this session as a tripper. The first three were in the evening but the final trip was to start in the afternoon so that there could be an outside and daylight option for those that wanted it. As well as the outdoor which would be a more sociable setting, there was an indoor option for those who wanted to do more internal personal work. I went for the indoor.

There was around 7 of us in the room, most people with doses of at least 5g, some going up to 9. We all lay down on and mats and music was played through a speaker. I can’t really comment on the music as I opted for headphones and put on a playlist by Mendel Kaelen – a psychedelic neuroscientist whose job it is to select music for people on psilocybin. I figured it should be fairly appropriate.

I was allowed to choose my own dose and went for 7.5 grams. I know that might sound like a lot but I have a really high tolerance to psilocybin and I’d guess that 7.5g for me is probably what 3g would be for the average person. After knocking back the capsules I went for the classic therapeutic procedure – sleep mask and headphones – and tried to relax myself as much as possible.

About 2 hours in the vivid sight of a family member on their deathbed came to me. I could see them so clearly that I could see the lines on their face. I felt sadness and fear at their imminent passing and started to cry. I tried to cry quietly to not disturb the others in the room, but at the same time to let it go. As I cried, I felt a hand softly rubbing me on my back. It was one of the facilitators, their touch told me “It’s ok for you to feel that sadness, it’s OK for you to cry. You are OK here”. After probably 10, 15 (?) minutes the sadness and accompanying tears eased up. I dried my eyes, blew my nose, and lay waiting to see if there was more to come. After a short time I could feel there was no more – the chapter had ended and the sadness had passed. And I kinda needed a pee.

I got up and went to the bathroom. I still had the Kaelen playlist playing in my ears but the purging was done and I was in a different space – I had a real urge to listen to some dirty riffs and big ass pumping rock tunes. Time to go off playlist. I grabbed a lighter from the kitchen and then went out on to the back balcony where I remembered there was a half a joint that had been hanging out there for a couple of days. I didn’t realise it before but I knew it now: that joint was waiting for me. I pulled up a seat to get a view of the lush green landscape and interrupted a soft and soothing tune for some Japandroids – crunching garage punk rock with anthemic choruses. Cranking the volume as the intro began, I lit up that joint.

Ah man. Glorious. The sweet ganja washed over me with a warm fuzz that somehow fused with the gnarled distortion on the guitars, and in a crazy life-affirming haze of noise, I felt fucking great. I heard the detail of the tone on those guitars like I haven’t heard in a long time and I closed my eyes tight, feverishly bumping my head to a beat that was pumping me up with a fresh lust for life, simultaneously satisfying and whetting my appetite for adventure and exploration. Wild, ecstatic, euphoric. It was reminiscent of my first ever trips and again reminded me that all life is an adventure, the message echoed by the chorus flying through my headphones…

“It ain’t shit, it’s just kicks… And like the world I’m going on and on and on.”

Now I know that might sound like some cheap adolescent wisdom but it’s a message that is much needed when life starts to seem heavy and a little too serious – ultimately life is nothing, it’s just kicks… pressure’s off, don’t sweat it too much, go explore and have fun.

Message received, I jammed out to another stone-cold rocker on the balcony as the rest of the group did a final meditation inside. The closing of the meditation signalled the end of the formal session, and we headed for the beach to meet up with the outdoor group.

We arrived at the beach to find the others already there, some in the sea, some exploring the nearby terrain. I found a spot to lie on the sand and got comfortable. “Inspiration and beauty for the next half hour!” Eric said announcing the immediate schedule. As I looked out to the colours starting to appear over the horizon, I had to agree. I lay there smiling to myself until Kristjan, an Estonian retreater with a brilliant accent that I’d come to love over the course of the retreat, appeared from behind a mound of sand. He wandered over with a characteristic smile and typically perfectly rolled joint in hand. Holding it up, he asked “Wanna try some of this sweet hash?”

As advertised, it was sweet. As was pretty much everything else about that evening on the beach. I caught up with the others about their journeys as we bobbed on the waves, and shared joints over conversations about dreams and the world. After the sun had set we made it back inland for dinner where Shane let our table in on some more of his crazy brilliant ideas. Engaging and heartfelt conversation over dinner with good people, before stepping out to gaze up at the full moon. What else can I say? It was the perfect end to the retreat.

09/01/2018/by John Robertson

altered conference uk psychedelic society weekends

Blog, Psychedelics

Uniquely, Altered: A Psychedelic Conference in Berlin

I stop in front of a stranger to look them in the eye and say ‘HOO. AAH. YOO!’ as he simultaneously does this back at me. We smirk at each other, and then walk on to do the same to another of the 300 or so people in the room. A few minutes earlier, to the collective sound of all of us humming and singing glossolalia, we held silk ribbons up in the air as we focused intentions on them before tying them to a large tree branch in the middle of the room.

This was my Friday morning a few weeks ago at the opening ceremony of Altered 2017: a two day international psychedelic gathering/conference. Berlin, synonymous with breaking boundaries and divided people coming together amidst political change, was symbolically the perfect city to host an event like this. With psychedelics becoming an increasingly hot political topic and the growing global movement steadily working towards seeing the counter-productive and repressive laws which prohibit their use, dissolved too.

Uniquely Altered

Altered was quite different to the psychedelic conference I went to in Copenhagen – what was a straight laced, well organised and heavily academic event held in a university. Altered, by contrast, was far more manic – with rooms and workshops overfilling, timetables changing, and held in a hotel with a confusing and labyrinthine layout. If the Copenhagen one showed the high conscientiousness and clear analytical thinking that psychedelics can provide, Altered showed the other side; the creative, chaotic, and magical.

Spellcasting For Beginners

Speaking of magic, I went to an hourlong workshop on the second day called ‘Spellcasting For Beginners’ led by a guy called Felipe Duarte. It was pretty different to anything I’ve done before so I’ll describe it briefly for the curious.

With about 40 of us there, he started with some music and we all danced to a sweat (breaking a sweat was essential to the magic working) before sitting down to briefly meditate and then do unconscious writing while we were asked questions about our desires in life. We then had to write down our greatest desire and refine this to one sentence. We then removed every vowel and repeating consonant from the sentence and using these letters created our own magical symbol and word.

Back into a circle we all sat around with everyone chanting their magical word over and over until the collective cacophony of the room reached a swooning, flowing fever pitch and we all ripped our pieces of paper into tiny little pieces.

Spell cast.

Slightly different from a talk on the results of clinical research then. I’m naturally pretty skeptical on this ‘magic’ stuff but I’ve reached no conclusions and regardless it was a fun and interesting hour and something new. Having to dance to sweat and do unconscious writing also forced me past discomfort too. I plan to attend more workshops at the next one.

Volunteering

I was a volunteer at the conference and it definitely added to my experience of the weekend. It was a great way to meet other people and at the same time get a peak behind the scenes to the organization of the whole thing. I helped with setup at the hotel the two days prior and met a lot of people involved, so by the time of the actual conference, the hotel was full of familiar faces and new friends and it felt strangely like home. As well as the set up I also volunteered on the 2nd day and spent a few hours at the welcome and info desk. This forced me to skip talks and workshops and meant that, between groups arriving from the tram, I had time to sit down and get to know some pretty cool people and hear their stories. If I hadn’t done this I would’ve just gone from talk to workshop to talk, trying not to miss out on anything and ironically missing out on connecting with others in the rapidly growing psychedelic community.

The Movement Is Growing Fast

A lot of things in the world are changing very quickly and perception of and interest in psychedelics is one of them. Altered is another example of this. Last year Altered was 6 speakers and 50 guests over 1 day. This year it was 35 talks, workshops and rituals across 2 days and 3 rooms, with around 400 guests, and an after-party. The pull was big. As well as an international group of resident Berliners, people had made the journey from surrounding cities and countries – I met people who had made the journey from Vienna, Budapest, Copenhagen, Holland, France and the UK.

Hyper Connectivity

The reach of the event and coming together of people shows the hyperconnected nature of the movement which played its part in my being there too. After Copenhagen, I’d planned on skipping this one but then my Danish buddy Vik was going with his Berlin based brother – a duo who I’m overdue starting an art project with – and then through research for a piece on drug policy, the lovely Ros Stone put me in touch with the founder and organiser Dax – who offered me a place to crash. It seemed that I was supposed to be there, so after securing a free ticket by signing up to volunteer and finding some cheap flights, I was on my way. It was the people I was in touch with who got me there.

The brain on placebo, left, the brain on psilocybin, right – mirrors connectivity in psychedelic world.

Even at the level of this conference, I got a sense of the disintegration of hierarchy and separation – another psychedelic action making its way out to the macro level. At Altered there was no clear distinction between speakers and attendees, or heads and guests. To me it felt like there were just a lot of psychedelic enthusiasts with everyone participating, some presenting and others not.

Psychedelic Use Doesn’t Equal Virtue

“Psychedelics do not guarantee wisdom or a clear recognition of the selfless nature of consciousness.”
– Sam Harris

With all the nice words said, it has to be acknowledged that not everything is compassion and oneness in the psychedelic world. There are definitely some big egos in the movement. Through becoming more involved with the community it’s become clear to me that growth, maturity, and wisdom certainly aren’t inherent in psychedelic use. I’ve seen conversations turn into bragging contests about who’s had the most trips, taken the biggest doses, or tried the widest variety of substances. I’ve also met people who are just dicks. When I hear someone bragging about how much they’ve learnt, how much pain they’ve overcome, or saying something like ‘I can now access any state of consciousness at any time’ (that’s a direct quote from a ‘healer’ at another event), I can’t help but smile and think ‘well how much did it teach you about humility and honesty?’.

There are, of course, countless people who’ve never touched a psychedelic and who show more of these virtues than some of the most well-seasoned psychonauts. As one of the speakers at the Copenhagen symposium put it; ‘there are people who’ve had hundreds of psychedelic experiences that are still assholes’.

I think this is worth remembering, as apparently psychedelic people can easily feel superior or on some kind of higher level than non-initiates or those with less experience. Personally, I don’t care too much about how many trips you’ve had, I’m interested in what you’ve learned and how deeply you’ve learnt it – how it informs your character and how you live your life.

While psychedelics have the ability to facilitate a mental reset capable of freeing one from conditioned patterns of thought and behavior (which may play a role in the species wide reconditioning needed to prevent our own ecological self-destruction), they are clearly not a panacea. They are just tools. Like any other tool or technology, they can be used for good or bad. A hammer can be used to build a table or hit someone over the head. Chemistry can be used to create medicine or a poison. The internet can be used to connect and educate, or spread lies, distract and shorten attention span. Psychedelics can potentiate minds and offer opportunities for greater awareness, but even if that opportunity is taken, what’s done with that increased awareness is another question.

Browsing psychedelic forums online you’ll come across countless claims of ‘ego-death’, but while the ego can lose power or even totally dissolve during peak experiences, it can strike back with a vengeance, re-emerging even more powerful than before. The ego is supple and can re-contextualize even the most powerful transcendent experiences, leading people further into competition and another ego-ic game. A type of spiritual chicanery or spiritual materialism.

“As Daniel Pinchbeck pointed out […], the fact that both the Mayans and the Aztecs used psychedelics, while being enthusiastic practitioners of human sacrifice, makes any idealistic connection between plant-based shamanism and an enlightened society seem terribly naïve.”
– Sam Harris, Drugs & The Meaning Of Life

More sinister than the mere boasters are those who are using promises of enlightenment and healing as a way to take advantage of others. A look at the stories of dodgy shamans who’ve touched up trippers or self-described healers charging exorbitant prices whilst living a life of luxury should ring alarm bells for us all.

Engaging The Shadow Side Of The Movement

This is, in Jung’s terms, the shadow side of the psychedelic movement. As in any field, it’s important to acknowledge and be aware of the charlatans, bullshitters, and manipulators out there seeking to gain power and money for their own selfish desires. How to deal with them?

It’s my belief that these people should be called in and have what they are espousing tested. This doesn’t need to be an aggressive attack but rather the opening of a discussion. With open and honest communication the truth will come out. If you come across someone with specious or spurious claims or saying something that contradicts what’s been previously said, I encourage you to question with curiosity to dig out the truth. I also think it’s best to try to judge people based on their character – how they speak, act and treat others – rather than any claims to experience and knowledge.

With that said, I’d like to hear others’ thoughts on this shadow side and how to engage it. Please post your thoughts in the comments below, and don’t hesitate to send me a message. Until then I’ll give my own rather broad version of advice:

Keep seeking, keep questioning!

12/12/2017/by John Robertson

Psychedelics

Mapping An Altered Mind: A Chat With Dax DeFranco

Next weekend I’m headed to Berlin for Altered Conference – ‘an international gathering of consciousness explorers from all backgrounds to take part in talks, workshops and rituals on the subject of psychedelics, conscious practices, and social issues’. Yep, sounds absolutely like somewhere I should be.

Another psychedelic conference? Yep, but Altered aims to be different. In my recent post about the psychedelic symposium in Copenhagen, I mentioned that there was a heavy emphasis on science and that I think there should be room for other types of discussion too. Well apparently the organisers of Altered heard my call: scientists will represent a slim part of a diverse range of speakers. One of those organisers, Dax DeFranco, kindly answered a few questions for me so I could get a peek behind the curtain…

To begin, I have to ask… how did you come to psychedelics?

It’s so cliche that it’s embarrassing. I was in university, maybe 20 years old. On Halloween, some of my friends got some mushrooms and we watched Yellow Submarine in someone’s apartment. I remember throwing up, the patterns in the floor moving around, being very cold… it was sufficiently weird, but the real trip started when I thought it was over. I went back to my room, got in bed and over the next few hours was led to mercilessly scrutinise my behaviour, thoughts, impulses, desires… it was extremely frightening to see myself with that kind of clarity and – without being too melodramatic – it definitely changed me for the better.

Honestly, I like that The Beatles were a part of your psychedelic initiation. And how did Altered come into being? Was there a specific moment where you thought ‘this is something we need to do’, or was it an idea which germinated over time?

Altered has been a very organic process. I gave a talk at a local bookshop in February 2016 about Terence McKenna, Language and Alchemy and it was packed out. I was amazed at the response, so I asked the owners if I could make something bigger – that’s how Altered was born. Last year it was just 6 speakers, myself included, and about 50 guests over one day. This year it’s 35 talks, workshops and rituals over two days with nearly 400 guests and a huge afterparty. It’s grown into itself and it’s been a great ride so far.

Why do you think an event like this is important?

There was an article or podcast I found about a year ago about ‘coming out of the psychedelic closet’. I grew up in a tiny town on the East Coast of the United States and it was an incredibly closed-minded and homogenous place that was a perfect breeding ground for a fear-based worldview. I was racist. I was homophobic. I was ardently anti-drugs. I was generally a very unpleasant person. I moved away for university, and then continued moving and between traveling and psychedelics I was exposed to all sorts of new people and experiences. When you don’t know any queer people or people of color, it’s easy to stick to an ignorant stereotype because it’s never challenged. You need to be open to accepting that some of the narratives you’ve taken on might be wrong, and psychedelics help with that. That to say, there are people across our society who have used and benefited from psychedelics but until recently they did so in secret. When you’re the only person who’s experimented with x, it’s hard to talk about it or make it a part of your identity, but the more people that do, the less pressure and fear others feel to identify that way. Altered is a gathering of a community, and it’s friendly and loving and fun, but there is no getting around the fact that it’s very much a political thing.

How will Altered be unique to other psychedelic conferences?

Altered has a different focus, a different aim. For me, if Altered really works, it’s going to be a psychedelic incubator (if you’re from the startup world), a bubbling retort of the Psychedelic Renaissance (if you prefer Alchemy). A place where people and ideas mix, combine, dissolve and reform into something entirely new. Someone recently was a bit critical of what we have planned, saying there wasn’t enough academic rigour and too much emphasis on experience – but the more I think about this, the more I think it’s exactly right – and not at all a bad thing. The talks are going to be amazing, but the conference itself, as a whole, is what’s really going to be special.

I hope so. And what’s going on at the after party?

Our goal was not to make the greatest party on earth, just to make a party that is good by Berlin standards. I think that means that for many people it’s going to be the best party they’ve ever seen :p

Sounds great. To finish, I’d like to ask something I ask every psychedelic enthusiast: What are the most important things one can do to open up the debate on psychedelics, both in their effects and their legal status?

I think the most important thing is to use and talk about them in an honest way. There’s a lot of talk about ‘coming out of the psychedelic closet’ – like I mentioned before, when you’re the only person who’s experimented with x, it’s hard to talk about it or make it a part of your identity, but the more people that do, the less pressure and fear others feel to identify that way. I think the simple act of being a psychedelic person who’s honest about being a psychedelic person is extremely powerful.

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You can find out more about Altered at their website and get tickets here.

If you’re going, come say hi. I’ll be around on the Friday and volunteering on the Saturday. Send me a message or tweet me before hand. See you there.

25/10/2017/by John Robertson